30.11.04 (category: female 2004)
In the row of 12 females to participate in this grande election, our December girl is the only one nominated by a woman (thank you, Amanda)! Apart from being an actress on the rise, this girl who was born in 1973 is/was also an aspiring artist. She won the W. H. Smith Young Writers' Competiton twice, once for several short-stories and then for her poetry.
She's seen in several famous movies, including Pearl Harbor, Underworld (I knew I'd seen her before!) and Van Helsing. You can find some great, almost artistic pictures over at Allstarz.org's Beckinsale page! We welcome her as the final female to enter this year's contest, and wish her all the luck!
We're all pestered with spam. For every e-mail I get, there is 20 spam messages. And I do have a quite powerful spamfilter, too. Even my blog, the marvellous Sigg3 dot net (you should try reading it sometime!), has been pushed with poker deals, pornography and such filth, and I didn't write all of it. This has more or less stopped, though, thanks to the brilliant effort of my friends Michael P. and Stevem, both members of Cafelog.com.
But mail spam is different.
So, what is it this screensaver can do to help? Webindia123.com reports:
The screen saver endlessly requests data from sites that sell the goods and services mentioned in spam e-mail, thus making the monthly bandwidth bills of spammers soar by keeping their servers running flat out.
Great! Make spammers pay for their SPAM! Of course, we'd rather see them punished severely. But the plan sounds nice to me.
It has only been tested in Sweden so far, but internet portal Lycos says they wants to release it December the 1st. Tomorrow. Read more over at Webindia123.com
posted by Sigg3 @ 1:04 pm
29.11.04 (category: music)
Dedicated to all the ravers in the nation; Pull yourselves together!*
Jeremy bender was a man of leisure,
Took his pleasure in the evening sun
Laid him down in a bed of roses,
Finally decided to become a nun.
Talk with the sister, spoke in a whisper,
Threatened to fist her if she didn't come clean
Jumped on the mother just like a brother
Asked one another if the other is a queen.
Diggin' the sister she was a mister
Shouldn't have kissed her, but he couldn't say no
Wanted to leave her couldn't believe her,
So he picked up his suit-case and decided to go
Violently stolen from www.LetsSingIt.com
(* The dedication, though, has nothing to do with the song..)
posted by Sigg3 @ 12:23 pm
26.11.04 (category: news)
That's the mysterious 10 letter message written on the Shepherd's Monument.
"It has long been rumoured that these letters - which have baffled some of the greatest minds over the past 250 years, including Charles Darwin's and Josiah Wedgwood's - provide clues to the whereabouts of Christ's elusive cup." - news.bbc.co.uk
I spotted it! The invisible mark you need to just stumble over to solve a code as ancient and mind-numbingly intelligent such as this! Poussion was nothing but a dirty
whoremonger! man! This is what his words are all about:
Donuts Or Utah Oysters Smells Violently As Voluptuous Virgins Might.
Damn... I am so glad it is Friday!
posted by Sigg3 @ 2:11 pm
25.11.04 (category: female 2004)
November is chilly and the introduction to a cold, dark winter. ...which is why it is surprising that our November girl is so hot!! She's a West Ham United supporter, but more famous for her appearance in SW1: The Phantom Menace as Queen Amidala's decoy, and her roles in movies like The Hole, Pirates of the Caribbean and King Arthur (playing Guinevere).
I was unable to find any larger fansites of Knightley, something I find odd, because she is immensely cute (see the first pic below). There's no doubt of her worth and she was immediately accepted into our Female of the Year contest.
There was pieces of dead cow in my lunch today. I quite enjoyed it.
posted by Sigg3 @ 12:52 pm
I feel handsome today, here I'm sitting for an hour in the reception. My hair is not overdone, not too shabby, I'm smartly dressed in a wollen "old-man's" trouser and a fake, black Kashmir sweater and my black leather jacket adding a rebel feeling to it all. And, of course, the never changing twinkle in my eye that no woman can resist. I am, all in all, at my peak today.
Now all I need is someone to flirt with. So much for my luck.
On the other hand, my eyes are red and dull despite my welcoming smile, leaving little doubt concerning my doings last night. Not overly drunk, not overly sober. A generally good time. Must they keep on rolling in!
I look around me seeking pleasurable amusement. There is none. I have a half-filled cup of radioactive machine-coffee to my right, the reception phone to my left. A tall desk shelters my actions from any visitors, only my good-spirited face will meet the welcomed ones. I am thinking; where is the love of today? And know instantly that there's no answer to it, but even this doesn't let my spirit down.
A sip of coffee.
So, the first ten minutes have passed. 50 minutes left. This day will be very short, I presume, but in the morrow I will long for its self-carried confidence that I now share. Would I only have such confidence in the weekend! but no. In the weekends I'm diversing myself doing laundry and watching TV, a pass-time I'm not privilieged with in middle of the week. In the weekends I try not to tempt myself, and in the week I am buissy with work, so when do I please myself? Good question. But I have plenty of books, and lately I've plunged into the world of Dune, Frank Herbert's testimony to mankind. I've almost completed the 3,000 pages in two weeks. I will read it again.
A student just called, worrying about wether one of our (Fafo's) publications she've ordered will reach her in time. She was doing her exam. Another world I'm seperated from. Studying. Oh, but I do study, it's only that I will never see it on paper. She sounded sweet, though.
What is it with me today? Musings and musings, but little facts. I guess I'll just have to enjoy my peak for as long as it's there. Today I am the passionate one. Tomorrow - who knows?
posted by Sigg3 @ 11:22 am
24.11.04 (category: literature)
A wee while earlier, the first draft of Pauly's Gumbo, his contribution to this year's NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) competition, was finished. 54,000 words. After less than a few days off, he begun his second draft. Now that's finished. I'm amazed. This is what he's revealed so far of its contents:
Someone recently asked me... What's your novel about? I didn'thave an answer at the time because it wasn't complete. Now after penning over 54,000 words, I can honestly say that it's 100% pure Americana trash. Indeed, Gumbo is nothing short of purenarcissistic drivel. For all you poker addicts out there, I included a random poker scene. A chapter of the novel takes place at the Bellagioin Las Vegas. Other locales include Amsterdam, New York, and Seattle. I let the self-appointed Tao of Pauly's sex tips expert, Briana, take a sneak peak at Chapter 1. When she was done she had a horrified look onher face. When I asked her to share her thoughts she muttered, "Wow, you weren't kidding. Sex, drugs, AND rock and roll." She was only on page 9.
You can read excerpts from the book over here: mcgumbo.blogspot.com
posted by Sigg3 @ 2:13 pm
(category: weekly poll)
During this year (2004) I've gathered quite some information about you, not only through "invisible" statistical systems and bribes in high places, but also through my Weekly Poll. Since it was closed down November 10th in await for the upcoming Female of the Year election poll, I've been waiting for my team of North-Korean analysts5 to reach a profile of my readers. Here's the result (translated to English).
A summary of the Statistical Reader Analysis
As a basis for our understanding of your statistics, we're using the provided numbers of 85,000 unique visitors since December 2003. They've left over 7 million hits spread evenly over 70 countries1. With these figures in mind, we can proceed to the analysis of "the average Sigg3 dot net reader". The results are henceforth presented in the chronological order provided by your Weekly Polls.
1. Scientific knowledge and/or interest
Base questions: Mars landing, Cloning
The Mars landing in 2004 indicates that people do have a sense of interest in modern science, especially with rocket science, probably because of the numerous movies concerning the subject. 33% or 28,050 persons found the NASA experiment necessary and "important for further science". A mind-numbing 25%, making out as much as 21,050 individuals, thought the event would bring humanity together in love and peace. They latter would seemingly fit into the category of 'hippies', but we cannot rule out the occasional Star Trek fanatic.
The other base question provided, indivates that a great deal of Sigg3 dot net's readers enjoy reading The Tao of one Pauly McGrupp. Almost 43,000 people preferred this NYC author cloned, while a traditional 23,000 votes (27%) still clung to the revival of Elvis Aron Presley2. 14% of the people was evenly split between cloning dead rappers 2pac or Big L, while a small group of Americans (1700 people) wanted David Letterman cloned, despite the fact that he's still alive.
Our primary assumption is constituted by the obvious connection hippies - Pauly, which implicates a series of distressing issues, such as: Does science suffer from hippies/trekkies? or What attracts hippies to space? The scientific knowledge of Sigg3 dot net's readers are conclusively questionable.
2. The morale of Sigg3 dot net readers
Base questions: Surfers imprisoned, Hair hygiene, Spamming
When the organization Amnesty International reported that Chinese government had improsoned more than 54 websurfers based on political grounds, there was an uproad among S3N3 readers. 85 percent of the userbase, constituting almost 73,000 individuals, thought the action a "clear violation of Human Rights". This is not surprising, though, on two grounds: a) The voters were all websurfers themselves and could immediately connect with these prisoners, and b) China is still thought of as a communist state, something revealed by the 15% who answered that the actions were a "proof of Communism's true nature".
This leads to a complicated task in determining the morale status quo of S3N readers. On one side they score by being sympathic beings, but on the other side they reveal themselves as prejudice and succumbed to the folklore of a 'free Internet'.
Moving on to the second poll undoubtedly connected with a person's moral situation; hair hygiene. To the question: How often do you wash your hair? there were 4 alternatives, which all had been used. A good 56% washed their hair every other day, while as many as 17,500 people (21%) washed it every single day. This immediately leads us to believe that S3N readers are thin-haired people. We also believe that an indication of the previously mentioned 'hippies' is found in those 3400 individuals (4%) that washes their hair once every four months. But only an indication, as bald people have no other alternative, if the poll is not aimed at body hair as well.
Concerning spammers, the base group of voters reveal themselves as websurfers again, naturally, even though spam reaches real-life mailboxes as well and in America alone has increased the number of sold viagra with a good 60%. No one admits to have bought anything from spammers, and allthough the possibility of this is high, there is reason to believe one would not want to be recognized as such a buyer by fellow internet users. An exact 50% of voters saying "I would never buy anything from a SPAM mail" strengthens this view. 45%, nearly 40,000 people, say their self-confidence has receeded because of the imprinting messages of spam, but we find it odd that an increased sperm volume (300% of it) is the base of social insecurity.
Our conclusions cannot be drawn as clearly as we would like, but it seems the readers of Sigg3 dot net is either of high-morale or incapable of dealing with their own volume of sperm. We also have no knowledge how the latter may have effect on female readers as well.
3. The interest in news and events
Base questions: Smokeban, Fate of Saddam, Reading habits
The smoke-ban issue, allthough dealt with by Sigg3 dot net as a morale issue, is rather a revealing factor of the differences among Western-democrats and readers of Eastern heritage. The 46% answering that the current smoke-ban introduced in Norway (2004) is "limiting our individual freedom" might be the influence of East-Terraen voters, showing to the website statistics including alot of visitors from The Russian Federation, China, Singapore etc. It is our belief that Sigg3 dot net also advocates a positivity towards smoking, which has little or nothing to do with the fact that employees in bars and restaurants have been suffering from cancer for a long time. This point of view was stressed by reader Mib, one could add. The 12% voting that the smoke-ban is good, is probably influenced by American health propaganda, but we find them incompatible with the 'hippies' of the Tao of Pauly and see that they must originate elsewhere. Some of them are undoubtedly from New York City, however.
The fate of Saddam was posted as a humorous issue in the Weekly Poll, and even though the answers are charismatic and reveals some kind of entertainment among the Sigg3 dot net readers, we see them as an interest in late events. The 22% answering that he was sent to Mars along with the NASA Mars Rover, indicates the scientific interest dealt with above, but not the knowledge to assass the extent of this thought. We would like to reveal that the Mars Rover had no passager seats, and that the Iraqi ex-despot would've suffered from severe oxygenloss. He would, in fact, have died.
The reading habits of S3N readers are an interesting point in this analysis, as it excludes newspapers, weblogs and even magazines (except for the Playboy magazine). It's only a question of the quantity of books consumed by S3N readers over selected periods of time. Not a single individual boasted about reading 1 book a day, but a worrying 64,600 people (76%) read 1-3 books a week. It is our conclusion that allthough interested in late events, news and such; Sigg3 dot net readers don't get out much.
4. The stability of Sigg3 dot net readers
Base questions: Drinking habits (#2), Holidays
What kind of people would one suspect reads the webpage in question? This questionnaire4 is supposed to give us the answer to that, but allthough the user base washes their hair every other day, finds an interesting in news, and never buys from spammers they are troubled with symptoms of drinking disorders. In fact it is our belief that alcoholic beverage may have been consumed even while reading the webpage. It is revealed that S3N, allthough not getting out much, are quite out-going. 51% answers that they go out to have a drink (or ten) once a week. The more concerning are the 36 percentage admitting that they do this twice a week! Is there a connection between reading S3N and getting drunk on a regular basis? We can only speculate.
An interesting group of about 10,000 people does not drink at all. We suspect that among these are the 3% of whom has never been to any parties, or the other 3% preferring coffe and cigarettes in the same setting. And we also suspect that these are among those reading 1-3 books a week.
Hard liqour was preferred among every four reader (25%) in social gatherings, while one third preferred brown ale (e.g Guinness Draught). The sophistication level of S3N readers are unsurprisingly low, since only 17% prefers wine, and only 3% white wine. Allthough S3N readers can be said to be well-read, even some of academic levels, an 11% say that they prefer drugs "naturally" above any other means of intoxication. It is apparent to us that S3N should commence rehabilitation of its readers, since an estimate of 15% of them might be seriously damaged by liquor or drugs.
3% preferred bikinies and sun, in front of mountains and wood-cabins when it came to dissecting the vacationhabits of S3N readers. A small nine percent - less than 8,000 people - were the only ones interested in meeting their family and relatives in their holidays. We find this coinciding with the fact that the userbase are either reading a book or severly intoxicated at all times. Some of the S3N readers are believably not able to spell their parents' names, but they can probably sing Elvis Presley songs while in a coma.
Conclusion. Reaching "The Average S3N Reader?"
Based on the above summary and supplemental facts in the full report.
Allthough Sigg3 dot net has a steady stream of about 10,000 readers a month, it is highly demotivating knowing that these readers are less likely to perform successfully in either social or sexual settings. They will continue to read, be it this or that, while neglecting their families and folks, staring into space and waiting for the return of Elvis, 2pac or David Letterman (whom is still alive). The great interest in women and alcohol seems apparent in all layers of the userbase, even though a good deal of them would turn out to be women if S3N had done a more focused collecting of data.
It is our hopes that Sigg3 dot net will take these issues to its heart, find its compassion for its users and provide them with the old-time rock music, news, literature, alcohol, drugs, women and viagra they would need.
From the above figures, we feel confident in having drawn a more or less accurate profile of the Average S3N Reader. In closing we would advice Sigg3 dot net to continue its observation of its readers.
1This data was substracted from website statistics. (Webalizer 2.1)
2A deceased rock musician and legend.
3Abbrevation of Sigg3 dot net
4The questionnaire is the total results of the weekly polls in 2004.
5You don't have a team of North-Korean analysts? You should!
posted by Sigg3 @ 1:50 pm
I wrote Neil Schaeffer, the well-known author of the latest big biography of our favourite Marquis, called: The Marquis de Sade, a life. This is some of the things I wrote to him in an e-mail primarily concerning the flawed "biographic movie" Quills;
I am by no standard any biographist, and I care less about de Sade's actual life than what he wrote himself.
With the delicate ways of Voltaire and seemingly unlimited amounts of imagination, he placed himself on the map of noteworthy readers in mankind's history as he was forced to see himself as human and did not keep his revelations to himself. (Revelations he knew would shock but enlighten, one could add.)
Today I got a reply! Schaeffer said, among other things:
I very much enjoyed reading your letter about Sade.
It is wonderful that he remains fresh and challenging even to this day.
You can visit Schaeffer's website on www.neilschaeffer.com where you can also read the vast amounts of letters that the Marquis wrote to his wife.
See especially Le Grande Lettre.
posted by Sigg3 @ 9:16 am
23.11.04 (category: links)
Yup. It's Tuesday, I ain't got dough for anythin' else than food, so I'm hanging out at home reading and writing, watching dust form itself on my desk. Great.
Hmm.. Great animated gif, eh? It's Alizee Jacotey dancing for us!
Link of the day: usuck uploaded pictures
Alot of strange webcam people. Like this guy the guy on the right. Look at him. Scaaaary! Do you know this guy? I mean, look at him. I bet he's a serial killer. Or at least something of the sort. Like, a delivery boy. Yikes! There are alot of photographs and webcam shots on usuck's upload page.. I don't get the point with webcams, though. I mean, when I was 14 or something, just cruisin' the net with my newly apprehended dual ISDN (128kbps/s) , I thought it was really cool. A bummer, though, that I didn't have the bandwidth to join in on the fun. I still have 3 webcams collecting dust in my basement. I thought about setting up a "smoke cam" so you could check me out while I was standing outside my window having a cigarette. But then I thought of the dark, my neighbours (whom hates my guts) and the drugdeals which have taken place beneath that window. Better just leave it alone.
.. sheit! It's 13 min overtime! And I don't get paid!? What am I doing here?
posted by Sigg3 @ 4:05 pm
22.11.04 (category: thoughts)
Smileys have been on the net since one guy in the early net-days added a colon: before a parenthesis). Since then, abbrevations and complex symbol-images have been flourishing both to ease fast communication and to ensure the integrity of the internet's users. By the latter, I'm talking about protecting the individual self-image of the experienced internet users.
The way smileys can perform as communication in sentences has always astonished me. If your sentence is poor in such a way that it could be negative towards the receiver, you can add an open-hearted smiley afterwards which reduces the risk of your message being interpreted in a way you hadn't planned.
This is, however, a help when your language is poorly written. Or written too fast.
But the growing commercialism and introduction of the web to the young, and by young I'm talking about 8-14 year old kids, smileys have become a source of endless frustration. In my "generation" you don't use symbols without purpouse. The purpouse seems to fade away the instant you receive a mail with the subject line: HEY ITS GOD TO SEE YOU:) :D !!!!!!!!
Of course it's good to see me. How good it is for me to see you, however...
The real issue of today's smileys which is also the reason why I disable them in any way I can, is the pixel graphics. Look at this shit:
First of all, it is poorly designed. It's hard to see wether the yellow guy, suspiciously similar to the original Pacman - if you're old enough to know what I'm talking about, is laughing out loud or just having a nervous breakdown. The abbrevation lol (or stronger: LOL) is much easier for anyone to read and understand.
Second of all, this thing is like a plague. It's been spreading through instant messenger software, through e-mails, through webpages and now we have them on our cellular phone.
And there are always more reasons, but I don't want to bore you. You should know why I'm not using the integrated smileys of b2 on my page, at least. People have asked me about that. They have asked me about it! WTF?! "I'm just writing you this mail to let you know your smileys isn't working." The obvious concern for this is worrying.
But smileys are so cute!
Yeah? Yesterday I saw a black pig with a red ribbon around it, all dressed for x-mas. That was cute! It also had a cutting edge humour about it; we'll eat you soon enough, piggie! Enjoy your life! Try expressing that with some stupid ass smiley!
So, here's the smileys and abbrevations I use (text only):
:) - The smiley
WTF? - What the f*ck?
lol - laughing out loud
:D - Funny!
:p - Stupid; That's too bad etc.
\ - Guy leaning on the wall, James Dean
/ - Guy falling down
_ - Dead guy, passed out guy
|= - handgun
brb - be right back
stfu - shut the f*ck up
Check it, a dialgoue:
:) \ :p WTF? lol stfu :D brb |= / _
posted by Sigg3 @ 12:21 pm
(category: female 2004)
It would be easy to think that this year's October girl was selected just because of her semi-Norwegian heritage. You're wrong. She's hot! I regret to say that I haven't had the chance to see her in action in that latest Terminator movie yet, but I guarantee you I will some uneventful Saturday.
She's an authentic farm-girl, having grown up in her parents' fruitfarm in upstate New York. Her personal motto is: "Believe in, and follow your dreams" It will be interesting to see wether she can follow them in our Female of the Year! Here are some of the photos I enjoyed:
Click for full-size!
19.11.04 (category: thoughts)
You appear your usual self; dark, mystic, sexy - still acknowledging those around you that "knows you". In that way she will see that you're an 'interesting character' yet capeable in social situations.
When you've aroused her interest, and she returns your looks, avoid all eyecontact.
Then when you're finally ready to give her that final thrust that will sweep her off her feet into a romantic tragedy with only a single, social survivor, she will not even look at you.
*sigh*... It's weekend soon. Great!
posted by Sigg3 @ 1:49 pm
Check out the screenshot of my workdesk: Screenshot Nov 19th, JPG
posted by Sigg3 @ 1:30 pm
(category: female 2004)
Shourov from TheVerandah.net sugggested this dazzling beauty for FOY04 September. The great looking Venezuelan babe with the long name is also a participant in this year's Miss World contest (see her page). She's a twenty year old student with a life motto of: "No matter how hard things can be, if one perseveres from the heart you can fulfil your goals."
I was unable to find any more information about her on the web, so her Miss World biography is the only confirmed source of pictures. I think the one presented speaks for itself though. Anyway, we congratulate her with her accomplishments, wish her the best in both Miss World 2004 and Female of the Year 2004!
17.11.04 (category: links)
My younger brother, Koew, reached the highest ranking of today's election from the seemingly un-ending source of scary pictures:
(Click the little one to open the big one...)
15.11.04 (category: female 2004)
This potential FOY 2004 is 5' 9 1/2" (1.77 m), which is exactly my height. She was proposed by someone whose name has disappeared thanks to my host deleting all my archived mail. (Another good reason for going Gmail.) But this post is not about mail or names, it is about the South African actress known best for her performance in The Devil's Advocate and The Italian Job. Trivial facts includes some interesting family details: When she was 15, her father attacked her mother, and her mother shot her father in self-defense. Her father died, and her mother was not charged in the incident. Her rags to richess story is as cut and pasted from the American dream, a failed ballet dancer who soon was discovered by a Hollywood agent.
We're honored to have her with us, Charlie:)
She appeared in the May 1999 issue of Playboy magazine, and has previously received more than one prize for her beauty, including a rank of 4th most sexiest women by FHM Taiwan in 2001. We wish her the best of luck in our great competition, where eleven others will challenge her for what's she's worth.
more great pics at Charlizeonline.com
Smurf, n.: being referred to as a smurf is probably not going to make your day unless you've previously adopted the label yourself in a spirit of irony. Compare: old fart. (Dictionary.com)
From Wikipedia: The smurf attack, named after its exploit program, is a denial-of-service attack which uses spoofed broadcast ping messages to flood a target system.
And a quote: «This term should not be confused with an act of war waged by Smurf cartoon characters.» Until today I was totally unaware that Smurfs waged wars. You live and learn. At any rate, you live.
posted by Sigg3 @ 9:55 am
12.11.04 (category: music)
I received a most alarming Alarmclock-connection newsletter just now, stating that Norwegian authorities have taken down the crew's www.KillHum.nu Anti-Bush campaign, which was initially meant as a joke. "KillHim.nu is a non-religious movement collecting money for a bounty on Bush's head." Norwegian policedepartment says the three members of Gatas Parlament might face jail for as long as 12 years, but it's our hope that the investigation will turn out emptyhanded. In fact, the page has been re-opened abroad:)
In the video called Anti-American Dance with Promoe (45mb) (click to download) American authorities have found that Gatas Parlament has threatened newly selected President Bush on his life. Here you can see the letter sent to the host of KillHim by the Norwegian Police. One should think Norwegian authorities had better things to do, but apparently they don't agree. Once again we see Norwegian authorities suck up on American government, like a hooker with syphilis granted permission.
And they still lack a sense of humour.
posted by Sigg3 @ 2:49 pm