Back to the hieroglyphs!

Some Australian restaurant owner has been trying to replace ‘the’ with the Ћ symbol, the same way ampersand & replaced ‘and’ and the at @ replaced ‘at’, in order to save space in tweets and SMS text messages. What a great idea!

As you know, I’m an educated philosopher, and for a very long time I’ve been working to replace the word ‘balls’ with ∞. That way, you save a lot of characters in your texts. E.g.

Ћ new Superman flick is Ћ dog’s ∞!

Or the simpler, more to the point:

Bieber:P∞

But why stop there? There are a lot of other words worthy of replacement. For instance, you could replace ‘if’, ‘of’ and ‘fuck’ with a simple ‘f’, and distinguish the semantics based on the context.

I’ll f u ↑

f u said fu I’d b sry cat:(

I’ll cu@ Ћ McD ↓ @ Main st. 2get Ћ $$ 4my dawg!

But some abbreviations just doesn’t work. Take “the N-Word” for instance. It’s actually longer than just saying ‘nigger’. But you wouldn’t really want to say ‘nigger’ because it is racist with undertones of social darwinism (which is scientifically false).

Saying ‘the N-word’, however, is both racist AND hypocritical. It’s not like there are people out there mystified by what ‘the N-word’ signifies.. Night? Neverland? Nachos? Nippy-weather? Not-‘nigger’? Just stop trying to denote someone by the colour of their skin. We all know for a fact that colour doesn’t decide as much as economy, education and outlook. So if you need to use ‘the N-word’ in your parlance, just state without equivocation that you are a racist and a bigot.

And stop trying to hieroglyphize the language. People aren’t educated enough to use the language they already have! Now get off my lawn!

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