Latest Internet Relay Chat-logs (IRC)

#646776
Dr-Mambo: so yeah
Dr-Mambo: how about that <recent current event>
Dr-Mambo: did you catch that <local sporting event> last weekend?
Willuknight: no i missed <local sporting event> but i did manage to get to <recent current event> and it was pretty damm cool
Willuknight: i met <person we both know> there as well, they were with some friends
Dr-Mambo: oh thats just <emotive statement>
Willuknight: <unecessary agreement>
Dr-Mambo: well im going to go <masterbate furiously> to <lesbian pornogrophy>
Dr-Mambo: <parting statement>
Willuknight: <salutations>

#638700
[testic] Average number of times a man will ejaculate in his lifetime: 7,200
[sg1138_] 7200 seems pretty high
[testic] I think that includes wanking and wet dreams
[sg1138_] 7200 seems pretty low

#63811
<etoilet> i went into the D&D store cuz they had old capcom arcade booths for sale, and my girlfriend followed me in. All the guys were sitting at a table playing D&D, and this one long haired dude got up out of his seat, strode up to my gf, bowed and said "May I help you my lady?"
<crunchyfish> I don’t know, man. That’s pretty smooth. What was his charisma? 17? 18?

#54474
<Dreaded_Fist[using_AOL]> I’ve had the internet since I was 9
<Dreaded_Fist[using_AOL]> course back then, when I looked for porn, I’d type "pictures of men and woman having sex"
<rpliving> now u just type in "pictures of men"

#608100
<cassius_clay13> so I was with my friend bryan the other night in a bar
<cassius_clay13> well he got really drunk and said he was gonna puke
<cassius_clay13> so i helped him walk to the toilet
<cassius_clay13> all the stalls were occupied
<emoti_conartist> lol
<cassius_clay13> bryan is a rugby player… so a big guy
<cassius_clay13> so he fucking KICKS one of the stall doors open
<cassius_clay13> and there’s this guy in there taking a shit
<emoti_conartist> hahahahahaha
<cassius_clay13> and bryan throws up ALL OVER HIM
<cassius_clay13> then (this is genius) bryan thinks ‘oh shit… if i were taking a shit and someone came in and was sick all over me, i’d want to fuck him up… so i’d better hit him first’
<cassius_clay13> so he fucking SMACKS this guy in the face
<cassius_clay13> and runs away
<cassius_clay13> imagine being that guy… WORST NIGHT OUT EVER

#365072
<xxxGirlygirlxxx> Thank you for listening to me.
<xxxGirlygirlxxx> You know your a really good listener.
<xxxGirlygirlxxx> Sweety please say something.
<Sandaedar> Ok I’m back.

#597921
<dura> I really think I’m a moron.
<dura> I just now realised that Neo spelled backwards is one.

#834654
<lemonlimeskull> Keith dodged a serious bullet thanks to his massive stupidity.
<Opium> Hmm?
<lemonlimeskull> Well, as you may know he lost his license months ago
<lemonlimeskull> So he’s been biking everywhere, which has lead to him losing a bunch of weight
<lemonlimeskull> He bikes to Walmart today and as soon as he gets to the electronics department, realizes his wallet’s fallen out, probably somewhere along the highway.
<lemonlimeskull> So he takes the memory card he wanted, puts it up in his baggy sleeve, and goes to leave.
<killjay> Uh oh
<lemonlimeskull> Yeah.
<lemonlimeskull> Naturally, security stops him as he gets within 5 feet of the front doors. This huge obese woman who is obviously having a really bad day – or just hates her job.
<killjay> o shit
<lemonlimeskull> She stops him, GRABS his arm, RIPS up his sleeve, and WRENCHES the card out of his hand.
<lemonlimeskull> He knows he’s screwed so he starts crying in the middle of the fucking store. He cries all the way back to the security office, and everyone’s staring at him the whole way.
<Opium> So he’s sitting in jail right now
<lemonlimeskull> That’s the awesome part. The manager takes a look at him, notices the bike helmet, poorly fitting clothes, lack of any ID whatsoever, and the fact that he’s crying like a three year old.
<killjay> …. -_-
<lemonlimeskull> Yes. He was let go and the security woman got chewed out for hurting a "retarded kid".

#233651
<Chrisodeo> veni, veni, veni.
<CrazySteve> Pervert.

#315042
<sexor> I went shopping last night at like 1am. the place was empty, and this old woman, just making polite convertation, said to me: "where is everyone??".
<sexor> I replied: "In bed, same place you and I should be!"
<sexor> Took me ten minutes to figure out why she gave me a dirty look

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