I just wanted to let you all know that I don’t sleep with all the candidates of Female of the Year. I mean, take Audrey Hepbern for example. She’s dead.
Check out what dropped in my mail this morning:
simaak (firstname.lastname@example.org) on Monday, January 24, 2005 at 03:29:26
msg: i love salma hayek to win this award. and tell here i love to
fuck (edit: make love to) her. i had a crush on her when i was small. i pay her 6000$
Cheers, Simaak, I’ll tell her that the next time she invites me over for some recreational activities. We mostly do mild bondage. But if you don’t mind I’ll let out those 6Ks, man. She’s not into money at all, I can tell ya. Unless I put them in her panties, moaning: "That’s right you little slut, you’re not worth more than a ten dollar bill". Always get her all aroused.
On a side-note I heard a rumour about Britney Spears buying baby-clothing. I seem to recall wearing a condom. But if that’s the way she wants it that’s fine with me, as long as I can visit the toddler in weekends. I don’t want my kid to follow onto her path. All self-righteous and shit. I paid for your tits!