Some Australian restaurant owner has been trying to replace ‘the’ with the Ћ symbol, the same way ampersand & replaced ‘and’ and the at @ replaced ‘at’, in order to save space in tweets and SMS text messages. What a great idea!
As you know, I’m an educated philosopher, and for a very long time I’ve been working to replace the word ‘balls’ with ∞. That way, you save a lot of characters in your texts. E.g.
Ћ new Superman flick is Ћ dog’s ∞!
Or the simpler, more to the point:
But why stop there? There are a lot of other words worthy of replacement. For instance, you could replace ‘if’, ‘of’ and ‘fuck’ with a simple ‘f’, and distinguish the semantics based on the context.
I’ll f u ↑
f u said fu I’d b sry cat:(
I’ll cu@ Ћ McD ↓ @ Main st. 2get Ћ $$ 4my dawg!
But some abbreviations just doesn’t work. Take “the N-Word” for instance. It’s actually longer than just saying ‘nigger’. But you wouldn’t really want to say ‘nigger’ because it is racist with undertones of social darwinism (which is scientifically false).
Saying ‘the N-word’, however, is both racist AND hypocritical. It’s not like there are people out there mystified by what ‘the N-word’ signifies.. Night? Neverland? Nachos? Nippy-weather? Not-‘nigger’? Just stop trying to denote someone by the colour of their skin. We all know for a fact that colour doesn’t decide as much as economy, education and outlook. So if you need to use ‘the N-word’ in your parlance, just state without equivocation that you are a racist and a bigot.
And stop trying to hieroglyphize the language. People aren’t educated enough to use the language they already have! Now get off my lawn!
I dunno if you’ve been watching the National Geographic Channel lately, but a couple of years back they decided they would turn around their public image, and as of now are among the top producers of contentless shit-tv. One of these so-called series or shows, is about preppers, viz. social expressions of despairing the human condition and the US political constitution in general. They come across as nutcases in their failure to provide any actual non-accidental facts for their despair, but in any case; they ARE PREPARED when [insert societal failure here] comes to pass.
The girlfriend, Lady C, recently blogged about her realization that she quite inadvertantly is something of a prepper herself in her blog post; One Apocalypse coming up…
We should add to her list that she’s currently growing potatoes in our bedroom.
Anyway. If she comes across as a little pervert, it’s because she insists that “Doing the jungle mambo” is not a sexual euphemism. Please don’t berate her for her lacking skill in English idioms, now. All that pleasure are belong to me.
My brother Koew e-mailed me a quick promo for Daft Punk’s upcoming album Random Access Memories — to be released May 21st. Good news, everyone!
My good friend Pauly tipped me about this short flick feat. Inspector Norse with music by Todd Terje. I think it nicely captures quiet life of most towns in Norway, how everyone wants to move into the big city when they’re young (like I did), and the mountain of stuff you never got to do making you feel like a failure.
* For you non-Norwegians, it’s not a documentary, but a short film. No bad days.
Please consider donating some coin to The Document Foundation. These are the brilliant guys behind the LibreOffice office suit which allows me, you (?) and many others to do our work without paying a Microsoft Tax. Thank you!
I gave $20 USD, which is what I can afford. The project is crucial for document freedom.
(The subsidized student edition of MS Office is approx. $120 USD)
When I wrote the last exam of my Bachelor’s degree, I wrote a Norwegian text on Aristotle’s concept of Beings (or living beings and artifacts). For the sake of clarity I chose to use the Ancient Greek (polytonic Greek) writing of his key concepts, because their English translations are misleading. In this text I managed to write my thoughts in Norwegian, use polytonic greek for Aristotle’s concepts, and quote English and German authors. Sure, I had to plea the Uni to take a PDF instead of .doc(x) but that’s not because PDF is something abnormal or hard to create (File->Export to PDF) but because the Uni has obsolete practices. Anyway. Try to see how easy that is in a proprietary framework.
I already have a job, but when I saw this article top 25 oddball interview questions over at my #1 spammer Techrepublic, I thought I’d run through them without thinking. Prospective employers pls read the disclaimer.
- If you were to get rid of one state in the US, which would it be and why?
Why settle with one state? In fact, Norwegian philosopher Johan Galtung gives USA 7 more years before she breaks up. Then we won’t be talking about states, we’ll be talking nations.
- How many cows are in Canada?
Before or after the coming Apowcalypse?
- How many quarters would you need to reach the height of the Empire State building?
None. As far as I know the elevator is free. USA USA USA!
- A penguin walks through that door right now wearing a sombrero. What does he say and why is he here?
He’s advertising Fedora 19 Mexican edition, but I think it’s drug related.
- What songs best describes your work ethic?
Something in the Way by Nirvana, and also Santa Claus is coming to town by the same.
- Jeff Bezos walks into your office and says you can have a million dollars to launch your best entrepreneurial idea. What is it?
That’s between me and Jeff. I signed an NDA.
- What do you think about when you are alone in your car?
Where the hell’s my dog?
- How would you rate your memory?
X-Rated, hands down. I SAID HANDS DOWN!
- Name 3 previous Nobel Prize Winners.
Obama, Mandela, Aun Sang Shu Xi (no idea how to spell that).
- Can you say: ‘Peter Pepper Picked a Pickled Pepper’ and cross-sell a washing machine at the same time?
Yes. If I just knew what cross-sell means.
- If we came to your house for dinner, what would you prepare for us?
- How would people communicate in a perfect world?
Like Jürgen Habermas!
- How do you make a tuna sandwich?
I’d ask the girl for a tuna sandwhich, and ready my CC.
- My wife and I are going on vacation, where would you recommend?
Far away from me and your 18-year old daughter! LOL! Nah, just kidding. Go to Rome.
- You are a head chef at a restaurant and your team has been selected to be on Iron Chef. How do you prepare your team for the competition and how do you leverage the competition for your restaurant?
I give a pep talk, you know. Let them know how important this is for ALL OF US, to make them understand that their participation not only matters to me but to them as well. But also that just being on Iron Chef is quite a big honour and privilege, so we should all do our best. And then I’d give them all cocaine.
- Estimate how many windows are in New York.
I’d go for 90%. Then almost 10% on Mac OSX and .5 % on GNU/Linux.
- What’s your favorite song? Perform it for us now.
My hours are for sale, not my integrity.
- Calculate the angle of two clock pointers when time is 11:50.
Let me google that for you
- Have you ever stolen a pen from work?
Studies show that average male employees are very likely to pilfer office supplies while their female counterparts don’t . So the question boils down to whether I’m average or not. I’m above average.
- Pick two celebrities to be your parents.
Michael Jackson and Pamela Anderson. If I don’t get laid, at least I get to DANCE!
- What kitchen utensil would you be?
That weird one you got for Christmas that nobody can tell what does.
- If you had turned your cell phone to silent, and it rang really loudly despite it being on silent, what would you tell me?
WHAT DID YOU SAY??!
- On a scale from one to ten, rate me as an interviewer.
X-Rated, hands down. I SAID HANDS DOWN!
- If you could be anyone else, who would it be?
I wouldn’t. Because then they’d be me and have all my shit!
- How would you direct someone else on how to cook an omelet?
That’s a job for middle management.
Ah. There are so many opportunities. Apparently, these are real questions by HR depts in the US of A. Personally, I’ve never had any "weird" questions because you either know there’s only one right answer, or it’s related to the job. Bonus: You can always end with "but it’s always the context that decides the right course of action". Office weasel, signing off!
This was last week’s AMAZING insight at the office.. (Help! Help! This job’s killing me! They’re banning my blog and making me work!) How-to: Get a blowjob from Justin Bieber in two easy steps:
- Take Justin Bieber’s initials
- Swap ’em around!
Thank you, thank you! I’ll be here all week! Try the lobster!
That’s what I forgot! To post the last five pics! Here they are:
Part of a series called Elvis in the Sun
Flicking through my podcasts, I hear a POOOOF! sound
Guy was alright. Chased by secret police (car on the right). Almost got killed by debris. What can I say? BeyondPod is a killer app!
Fuck everything and rum!
Nuff said. Genuine pirate graffiti!
Sun-Powered Super Villain!
Lady C got this rain coat for Elvis, that makes him look like a super villain:)
Bonus photo: The New Couch ®™
We invested in this "new used" couch for a saner living condition. Totally worth it!
Whoops, gotta go. Elvis is trying to hump my leg here. You have to nip it in the bud, else you’ll find him outside my German classes wholesaling crack cocaine before long.. Or eying Poland. Never can tell what this dog is thinking.
I could swear I heard Dart Vader’s familiar breath as I was taking a piss in the WC just now. Must’ve been down by the bins outside, checking something out.
Anyway. Happy Women’s Day!
There’s no deep thought here, just a lot of coffee.
…. but we’re not dead yet!
The U.S. Congress is currently considering the Stop Online Piracy Act (SOPA) and Protect Intellectual Property Act (PIPA), that are among the two most anti-global and anti-social law proposals to appear before congress since the Patriot Act (which was the end of one of our civilization’s greatest principles – Habeas Corpus). If passed, the laws will grant powers to the US Government that only the US Government perceive themselves to have, thinking about "the Internet kill-switch", however the side-effects to the practical realities of the way the Internet is run will pose a threat to its statelessness, as well as pave way for enlarging corporate control over Internet content. Read more here on Wikipedia: Stop Online Piracy Act and Preventing Real Online Threats to Economic Creativity and Theft of Intellectual Property Act.
Other sites, such as Wired.com, reddit and Mozilla followed Wikipedia’s example today. As did Google, 4chan, Vimeo, flickr, Miro, MineCraft, PostSecret, and many others, including the Electronic Frontier Foundation!
The Acts’ names are misleading, even if you are an adherer to the notion of "intellectual property", these laws will introduce Government censorship that invariably and inevitably hurts the common man’s interests and favor those few at the top, the large corporations, and those that’d rather see an Internet akin to cable television.