Pollresults on: "The sophisticated way of eating oranges"

YOU COWARDS! I asked for the sophisticated way of eating oranges, and this is what I get?

Peel slowly and see: 14%
Make conversation and observe the others: 42%
Treat it like the plague: 9%
Treat it like a tit: 16%
Small, non-dripping nibbles: 7%
Ethiquette and fruit are incompatible: 9%

Of course, the only correct answer to that one is to treat it like a tit. Or like a velociraptor dive into a little kid.
Nearly half of you are too polite to eat an orange without knowing the ethiquette. Just trust yourself, get in there, feel the juices flowing!
Those 7% of small, non-drip nibbling people out there, you’re not really helping. You can’t eat a big fuckoff orange like a squirrel would do it. The sheer size of the orange would kill it. You have to see this from another angle. Preferrably from a shark’s angle. A starving shark’s angle.

Poll #22: The sophisticated way of eating oranges

I was reading John Stuart Mill’s Utilitarianism last night, when I became so hungry that I just had to finish off my last orange. It was big as a small sheep’s head, a d-cup perhaps, and it satisfied me grotesquely. As I sat there, natural juice running down my cheeks and onto my clothes, laptop and Blackwell edition of said book, I wondered how Mill would have eaten it. At a british tea party during the colonial times.

Poll #22: «The Sophisticated way of eating oranges?»

1. Peel slowly and see
2. Make conversation and observe the others
3. Treat it like the plague
4. Treat it like a tit
5. Small, non-dripping nibbles
6. Ethiquette and fruit are incompatible

If you do have any funny fruit stories, please submit. But vote either way. The weekly poll is my way of prodding my readers with obscene questions. You should just admit that you like it already. I’ve read Freud too.

Pollresults on: "Does underwear get you off?"

There are a lot of sick people reading Sigg3 dot net. Among the top 20 search strings this month are: history of the word fuck, tatu naked, jenna jameson and salma hayek sexy. But I don’t blame you. Look at me as your therapist.

This is why it was necessary to ask whether underwear gets you off or not:

Does underwear get you off?
Yes, oh, yes!: 71%
Depends on who’s in’em: 19%
No: 4%
I’m a nudist: 4%

Number of votes: 21

I had expected a few more nudists actually, but the problem with my question was that this answer seemed to oppose the notion that nudists can like underwear too. If you are a nudist, please make use of my comments to tell me your preference.

Poll #21: Does underwear get you off?

I’ve been way too lazy as to maintaning the entertainment section of this page. All I do is ramble. Ramble, ramble, ramble. That’s a lot of rambling. Here to make up for my self-centered egoism, a re-opening of the Sigg3.net weekly poll! And it’s all for you!

Poll #21: «Does underwear get you off?»

Does it? Be it:
Women's underwear and/or Men's underwear

You know the drill. Spoof your IP, put on your dark glasses and vote anonymously. Thanks!

EDIT: Despite numerous requests, I will not put up pictures of myself in underwear.

Poll #20: Do you read Slashdot?

Wohoo! Thanks to you, my readers, we’ve reached poll 20 in the weekly polls. Without counting the Female of the Year contests, the Weekly Poll has drawn as many as 20×20=400 clicks! And it’s really 800 clicks, since you have to click the Submit button afterwards!!
Also check out last year’s Sigg3 dot net Statistical Reader Analysis (S3N SRA)!
That said, the number of polls itself is not as plentiful as I’d have wanted, but that’s due to time (or lack thereof) and people failing to have an interest in polls.
"Internet polls are stupid", some might say. I say: Let’s be stupid!

Enough of the bullshit. Here’s this week’s nerdy poll.
Poll #20: «Do you read Slashdot?»

If you’re going Slashdot? WTF!? the answer is no. Enough instructions. Go ahead and poll it!
To those other kind of people going It’s spelled /. the answer is yes.

Pollresults on: "Do you have a fishtank?"

Norwegian summers in the media is referred to as "cucumber-times", a term used to describe how newspapers print two-page stories about a potato that looks like Virgin Mary and that sort of stuff. Not that I’m against potatoes, but as Adams puts it: "It’s wrong to think you can solve any major problem with potatoes". (It could have been Pratchett, I’m not sure.) As I’m heading for lunch now, I kind of lost the thread. I’ll not eat potatoes. Here’s the results on last week’s poll:

Do you have a fishtank?
Yes: 63%
I have a fishbowl: 4%
No: 27%
I just hate fish: 4%

Number of votes: 22

As for the 4% out there, hiding in the dark like the unworthy bastards you all are, I’ve only got one thing to say. Fish rulez. That’s it. As Pratchett says: "If I’d had to buy you, you wouldn’t be worth the price." For the owners of fishtank, please let me know if you have any concept of a noiseless fish pump/filter. Is there such a thing?