Monthly Archives: August 2003

What to do when Da House is all a mess….

I don’t know… Just look at this:

That's right - FUCK YOU YOU FUCKING FUCK!

The entire house looks something like that… Can’t wait to get out of here..

Well, as for the Female of the year contest, it’s still on, thanks to many good recommendations from ya’ll and my own good taste! Here’s what will happen:
1) I’ll be introducing you to the candidates, one by one. Hopefully I can explain why I picked her.
2) When all the 12 girls have been introduced, I’ll give you a wee bit of time so you can let it all sink in.
3) In December, I’ll put up a poll that will let you vote for your favourite candidate!
4) The candidate will stay on Sigg3 dot net‘s mainpage throughout 2004, as an official representative; "Female of the year 2003".
– But don’t forget; in order for this to work and be fun, YOU MUST ALL participate. Tell your friends, your wives, your men, your dogs and cats, your lovers, your slightly crazy neighbours and last but not least; tell everybody I forgot to mention:)

Thanks! (Oh, and I will probably give you a better newsreport when I get to Oslo! Ciao!)

Female of the day (by threat): Angelina Jolie

That’s right! Sigg3 dot net has been flooded with suggestions since I published the Official Sigg3 dot net female of the year competition. Today’s lucky winner was djMIB who suggested: Angelina Jolie! This gal has got something, but you can’t really put your finger on them – eh, I mean it. Congratulations, Angie!

Angelina Jolie
Click this link if you want the large version to lighten up your home!

Now, there’s more for you today. Since I’m moving some day next week, all the stuff -including the computer I’m sitting at now- will be packed away somewhere. This means that I won’t have the same access to my server when I’m around travelling. No, I don’t have a laptop, yet. – What does all this mean, you ask? Well, it means that I will keep on updating you with useless information on where I am and what I’m doing, but there will be less images and stuff like that.

But it also means that the rest of the females will have to be uploaded tonight, or something similar. If I release the finished list, all in all 12 rivals, I’ll also give you access to the voteHQ where you’ll vote for your candidate. I haven’t decided on what to do just now, but I’ll get back to you on that one tonight or never. See ya!

Molested by a penguin! (a Sigg3 dot net exclusive!)

A true story about a man and his childhood. Forgiveness isn’t always possible. Only on Sigg3 dot net: "I was molested by a penguin!"
– "Martin", age 37, opens up to Sigg3 dot net‘s reporter Sigg3, to unfold the most painful chapter of his life; his childhood.

Pingu the penguin

"I was only seven years old. My father was a polararea-birdwatcher or some sort of scientist studying various kinds of birds in the antarctic areas. So me and him were staying in an outpost, a wooden cabin of the type you see in movies, and after I’d finished daily chores, you know, I could pretty much go about on my own.

One day in March, this was in ’73, there’d just been a great storm, so my father was out for a couple of days in a row – trying to find out whether the birds he were studying had migrated or just blown away. I finished my chores pretty early that morning. I was excited about being on my own for a while, and as young boys always do, I dreamed of what to do with it. Go climbing or fishing? Take our boat for a ride? The options were many, as you certainly can imagine. I decided to go explore some of the islands nearby and its birds, so I got dressed and prep’d the boat.

The weather was loomy, but the forecast assured safe weather for boating, so I took the chance. When I think of it now, I wish I hadn’t. Anyway. I got there safely, anchored in a sheltered natural bay and went ashore. I’d never been to this particular island before, but my father had, and he’d told me all about the caves and the penguin colonies you could experience. Having explored the caves quite thoroughly, I got bored, and decided to see if I could find the penguins my father had told me about. On the other side of the island, where it was less rockier and more open space, as I can remember it, I saw them. It must have been at least fifty of them, standing together there, just chatting. I found my binoculars quickly in the backpack and started to study their behaviour. They seemed quite peaceful, and since the mating and hatching was over, I decided to go a bit closer.

They were pretty tame, I discovered, so they didn’t mind me stepping out from the rocks and closing in at all. I sat down and found my lunchpack, which I’d prepared earlier that day, and very soon it was the center of their full attention. I didn’t mind sharing it, I had more than enough, so I gave half of it away to the imposing birds. That’s when I met him.

Hey, kid. I heard a voice from behind and saw a middle-aged penguin staring at me. What are you doing here? He didn’t sound hostile at all, just curious, so I started walking along with him there, while the other penguins soon found interest in other matters. He was quite nice to me, this penguin. He showed me all of his favourite fishing places, and you don’t do that to just anybody. He told me I was special."

[Here we had to stop the interview for a while so "Martin" could get himself together. It was quite emotional.]

"Anyway, we were going there alone for a while, talking about the island and how beautiful it was. Pingu*, that was his name, was very interested in the work my father was doing, and since I were alone most of the time, and dad sleeping when he was at home, I was glad I’d finally found someone to talk to.

Having talked the entire afternoon away, we decided to meet again the next day. We parted, and I was pretty excited about it all, and really looking forward to the coming day. Oh, how I wish I hadn’t went back there. In my mind, my conscious was telling me to not come back, but I just shut it away. Finally I’d found a friend. Ot that’s what I thought, at least.

I came the following day, after the chores were done, and we talked more about life and solitude when Pingu lay his wing around me. You’re a good boy, Martin. Do you know that? He said to me. I looked into his deep, brown, penguin eyes and said that I was nothing special. Oh, but you are, Martin, you are my special little boy. He smiled from earhole to earhole, and I couldn’t help smiling too, dug into the warmth of his wings.

We spent many days like that. Just talking and hugging. I sensed no harm in what he did to me, but later – through councilling – I’ve learned that what he did was wrong. He was a grown up penguin, and I was just a little boy."

["Martin" continues to share his painful childhood with us.]

"My councillor has asked me on many occasions to specify the abuse Pingu commited, in order for me to get over this chapter of my life. I mean, it has been hard, all these years in silence. My father never suspected anything, and the first time I told him about it, he couldn’t believe it. Penguins are really sophisticated animals, he said. They’d never do the things you speak of. Today he knows better. I’m proud to say that he was one of the founding fathers of the NAAP (National Association Against Penguins)."

["Martin" gets into the details of the abuse.]

"Mostly he’d just let the wing drop casually on my knee and work his way upwards. Other times, when we were ‘exploring the caves’, he would put his sharp beak.. into me. It hurt, but he said I was a brave, young man, so I didn’t cry. Other times there’d be more penguins at Pingu’s age, and they’d all have their way with me. I didn’t like the other penguins, they were more harsh to me and sometimes they would hold my down with their weight alone. I told Pingu that I didn’t like them, but he said that they were his friends so I had to be nice with them. I was so foolish to obey, but I was only seven! I mean, what can you do when you’re held down by the strong wings of six lustful penguins?"

["Martin" breaks down, so the interview was ended there. Having tried committing suicide on several occasions a few years earlier, we're glad to tell you that he's doing much better today, possibly because of his father's support through the last years.]

Because it has been thirty years since the abuse took place, Pingu and the other five rapists are not likely to face any charges at all. In addition, Greenpeace sent us the following letter after we’d discussed the legal position of a possible trial with the District Attorney:

The penguin is an exceptional species that our ecosystem is depending on. Considering the fact that, because of mankind’s pollution, they’re facing extinction, we will not stand for any harassment of these beautiful beings which existence is as justified as ours. The incident you are referring to, concerning Pingu the penguin, is a matter of human-animal racism which we can’t tolerate. We wish to express our sincere sympathy with "Martin", but we will not acknowledge his statements without any evidence, as it is pretty obvious that he has been missing out on his therapy.
Director of Greenpeace. Green peace, out.

To us, this letter only confirms and strengthens the truth of "Martin"’s statements and the old saying: Never trust a penguin undressed.

Please sign our campaign to support "Martin". Hosted by the NAAP. Thanks!

(*renamed according to the protection of personal information)

Do you have a true story you’d like to share with us? Please forward it to: TrueStory@sigg3.net and we will look into it!

Female of the day (by request) : Katie Holmes!

One of Sigg3 dot net readers suggested Dawson’s Creek‘s Katie Holmes. I’ve never seen a single episode of this farspread show, but I can imagine it must be something in-between "Friends" and "Passions". And I really like "Passions":)

Katie Holmes

So I checked her out. Here’s an extract from my preliminary report:
"Katie Holmes a.k.a Katherine Noelle Holmes was born December 18th, 1978. Clothing Size – A size 4, cute smile, funny ears. Starred in Bob Dylan’s musicvideo Things have changed in 2000. Likes chocolate and caffeine. Oh, sounds like my kind of girl:)"

More news about the Female of the year election coming up soon! Check out the list, as of now!

(You’d like to check out Katieholmespictures.com!)
(The reader wishes to remain anonymous, but you can visit his website here!)

A new feature:)

That’s right, Sigg3 dot net is expanding, and this time with a feature that will guarantee some entertainment: Female of the day.

I’m working on a little script that will popup here this evening, (so stay tuned,) on your right-hand side of the page. Just hang on, and you’ll see.

What’s the deal? The deal is to vote forward a representative woman who you think is worthy the title of Sigg3 dot net female of the year. The voting will not begin until we’ve 12 representative females to choose from. Right now we’ve 4 candidates (well, really 5, but we count them as 4):

Stay tuned for more news about this!! Also, feel free to suggest females that you think are fit for the job!

Formel 1: Budapest GP 2003 became an historical event!

That’s correct! Renault‘s Fernando Alonso won the GP as the youngest F1 driver to win a GP EVER!!!
Sigg3 dot net congratulates!

Fernando Alonso, courtesy of SCANPIX and tv2.no

The race was pretty dramatic, I’d say, as in the 2nd turn William’s BMW‘s Ralph Schumacher spinned off course and had to continue the race at the last position. This wasn’t a drawback to this excellent F1driver, however, something manifested in the fact that he finished the race on a safe 4th place!

Later in the race, Rubens Barrichello from the Ferrariteam was having difficulties and driving down the lane before startposition having William’s BMW‘s Montoya in the heels, his left reartyre fell off and the car and driver smashed into the tires surrounding the track doing 170 km/h! It was a miracle he survived the crash unharmed!!

The finishing pollpositions looked like this:

  1. Fernando Alonso, Renault
  2. Kimi Raikkonen, McLaren Mercedes
  3. Pablo Montoya, William’s WMB

The World Championship has three races to go, the next one coming at the 14th of September, and it looks as if the end of it will be more exciting than it have been for several years. We’ve got Ferrari‘s Michael "Schumi" Schumacher leading with 73p, next up is William BMW‘s Pablo Montoya with 72p and coming right at them both young Kimi Raikkonen from McLaren Mercedes. Three top-notch drivers from three different teams competing to win! This looks exciting to me, what do you say? Comments are appreciated..

The last three GP’s will be held at these dates:

  • 14th of September: Italy Grand Prix (Monza)
  • 28th of September: USA Grand Prix (Indianapolis)
  • 12th of October: Japan Grand Prix (Suzuka)

Stay tuned for more F1 news!
(* img stolen from TV2.no, courtesy of SCANPIX)