Tom Waits in studio again!

That’s right! The old devil has returned to the studio again, revealing that the rumours of an upcoming album will, in fact, be released this year, probably in autumn. Waits has this to say about what to expect:

"I’m feeling good about it all. There are songs about politics, rats, war, hangings, dancing, automobiles, pirates, farms, the carnival and sinning, Mama, liquor, trains and death. In other words, the same old dirty business." I can’t wait!

His last two albums were Blood Money and Alice which were both released in 2002.

Courtesy of NME.com.

The world is going bazookas since people ain’t fond of each other. In order to do something about it, we all have to learn to appreciate the value of sharing. Like smoking during pregnancy, for instance! It’s a win-win situation.

Smoking and your baby

Nuff said.

Meaning of the word 'Tragedy'

My brother Koew sent me this joke by Anonymous:

President George Bush is visiting an elementary school today and he visits one of the classes (4th grade). They are in the middle of a discussion related to words and meanings.The teacher asks the President if he would like to lead the class for an example of a "tragedy".

One little boy stands up and offers, "If my best friend, who lives next door, is playing in the street and a car comes along and runs him over, that would be a tragedy". "No", says Bush, "that would be an accident."
A little girl raises her hand: "If a school bus carrying 50 children drove off a cliff, killing everyone involved, that wold be a tragedy." "I am afraid not," explains Mr. President, "that’s what we would call a GREAT LOSS."

The room goes silent. No other children volunteer. President Bush searches the room. "Isn’t there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?".

Finally, way in the back of the room, a small boy raises his hand. In a quiet voice he says, "If an American Air Force plane, carrying Mr. & Mrs. Bush, were struck by a missile and blown up to smithereens, by a terrorist like Osama Bin Laden, that would be a tragedy."

"Fantastic!," exclaims Bush, "that’s right. And you can tell me WHY that would be a tragedy?"
"Well," answers the boy, "because it wouldnt’be an accident, and it certainly would be no great loss."

New Truckin' issue released!!

Pauly has released Truckin’ April 2004 (Vol. 3, Issue 4) where yours truly also has been allowed to participate most humbly and without capital letters.

I haven’t had the chance to read through it yet, so it may stink from all I know, but I’d know more about this later on when I’ve actually read it (and I’m going to!). This is why I’ve just stolen Pauly’s descriptions, the ones that are following this sentence.

Thanks for returning to my (Pauly’s, in fact,) literary blog-zine. This sensational issue features seven new stories, and three of them are from yours truly (Pauly wrote them); a Miami story, a Vegas story, and something special I (or Pauly, if you will,) wrote for someone special. My (Pauly’s) favorite Norwegian blogger Sigge (that’s me), shared a witty tale about my (Pauly’s) clone. Hilarious. Paris Wispy returns with a sultry tale called Ward. All the way from New Zealand, Richard Bulkeley is back with another excellent read. And lastly, Jessica E. Lapidus concludes the second part to her intense story: rancor. So sit back, relax, and enjoy. [end quote]

Now, back to mine, enough credit shared.

My story is in fact a tragic account of what happened a couple of years ago, in the spring of LP’s life, the beginning of the downfall. It is with overdue empathy that I finally has managed to get through the tears and write down the stories of this most charitable character that entered my life along with Pauly. You should bring paper-tissues to your bed when you, half naked and tired, are bringing the print-out of this story with you to read.

Click the following link to read it: link. Just kidding. You can click here to read it. (If you by chance – against all common sense – would like to read the writings of the other writers who’ve participated in this masterpiece of a Truckin’ edition, you can enter the zine by typing this address into the address field of your webbrowser (or you can click it if you prefer): http://mcgtruckin.blogspot.com. I thought it was worth mentioning. Perhaps I’m wrong. I don’t care.)

Link of the day: Estimating the Airspeed Velocity of an Unladen Swallow

"After spending some time last month trying to develop alternate graphic presentations for kinematic ratios in winged flight, I decided to try to answer one of the timeless questions of science: just what is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?"

Inspired by Monty Python, eh, Jonathan Corum?

Read the article to see for yourself!

From the office: A soapy quarrel over soap

It has come to my immediate attention that the tasks performed in the landscape of an office-building requires a considerable amount of time to justify the importance of those involved. Like writing a report, going over statistical reasearch data, and stuff that would normally take 3-6 months will be subject to a process taking eventually as much as a year. I’ve understood that this is highly important due to the fact that we’re dealing with reasearchers and writers with classic titles whom all need their satisfaction.

I find it an adequately satisfactory explanation, but my case is that this syndrome, if I may be so bold, spreads throughout the rest of the system like a social disease and now everyone is walking around like kings and queens of unknown territories.

Take this incident for example;

Three days ago when I had withdrawn from my office less than five minutes to perform a challenging task for Nature, I upon accomplishment discovered that there was no soap in the "soap-box". No big deal, I decided, because I do try to be open-minded and creative, so I eventually washed my hands in a toilet on another floor. This was three days ago.

I’ve been using the very same toilet for the last two days at an average rate of two to three times a day, especially after lunch hours if eggs have been served, and I’ve grown impatient with the guy who is supposed to re-supply the soap.

He wishes to remain anonymous, and I respect his wish. His name is Bhagdad. That’s correct. Just like the city. During the days in casu I’ve witnessed the process of changing the soap described;

Day 1
1st. visit. I do my task at the toilet, discovers that there is no soap left.
2nd. visit. Casually dropping by I notice that the "soap-box" has been opened with a key that is still hanging in the lock.

Day 2
1st. visit. Same as Day one, 2nd. visit.
2nd. visit. After lunch I see that the key has been removed due to security issues and that the bottle in which the soap is supposed to be contained (which normally resides inside the "soap-box") has been turned upside down. I’m puzzled and amazed.

Day 3 (to-day)
1st. visit. Same as Day 2, 2nd. visit.
2nd. visit. The key has return in order to provide the necessary means to lock the "soap-box" when the operation has been completed.

From here I sketch;

Day 4 (to-morrow)
At some time during the day the soap bottle will be removed. The key will stay.

Day 5
In the morning, pro-lunch that is, the bottle will be returned, now with soap.

Day 5-7
The bottle will be inserted into the "soap-box". The box will be locked and eventually the key will again be removed. In less than a week, if the task is prioritized, it will be possible for me to once again wash my hands with soap without having to move myself to another floor. I’m impressed.

These are the worries of my life in the office.

The Pamphlet of the Permanent Penguin Removal

After I released the shocking photographic evidence I was sent by the National Association Against Penguins yesterday, they were soon to send me regards and asked me wether I was willing to host their pamphlet as well. I accepted the offer, as I’ve been true to the cause ever since its beginning in the early 80’s.

"First of all it is important to note that the National Association Against Penguins, the NAAP, is not exclusive in one geographic nation, since we see the Internet as one Nation and its users citizens thereof. This statement advocates the permanent removal of Penguins."

Read the entire pamphlet:
« NAAP’s Pamphlet of the Permanent Penguin Removal »

Other resources:
Photographic evidence of the Penguin Uprise
Molested by a penguin! (a Sigg3 dot net exclusive!)
NAAP’s official flier

NAAP has dug up new evidence

The National Association Against Penguins (official webpage) has once again released breathtaking findings in their quest to abolish the freak that is the Penguin from the face of the earth.

They’ve reached contact with undercover military photographer, known on the inside only as Cameron, who’s taken more than 150 photographs of penguins in military operations despite the fact that organizations such as NATO and Greenpeace denies all knowledge to any Penguin Uprising.

Sigg3 dot net has managed to get hold of three of the revealing photos in casu, so you may see and judge for yourself:

Don’t forget to visit The National Associaton Against Penguins!