April 2007, Vol. 6, Issue 4: "one of the strongest issues of the year!"

New issue out that’s among the strongest so far this year!
I hope you all take the time to leave your daily life for a moment, hustle down to Subway and get yourself an original Subway Sandwhich, head over to Truckin’ and start reading while a double bacon melt stains your pants with greasy bliss. Unless you’re a heart surgeon, of course. If you are, wait until the shift’s over, send me an e-mail with your address and stamps enclosed, and I’ll print them all out and send them straight out to you!

by
Just before the flight attendants closed the airplane doors, two extremely loud women with Fendi purses rushed in and sauntered down the aisles. One was a skinny black woman wearing oversized Chanel shades carrying a pink jacket. The buxom blonde wore a pink Juicy track suit and had the biggest and worst fake boob job I had seen since the days when I lived at the Redneck Riviera…

by Sean Lovelace
My friend S____ is a huffer. Gasoline, Freon, silver spray paint, etc. If you were to believe what you read, what the medical professionals say, my friend will eventually suffer marked atrophy of the brain, and has about a three in five chance of living to age twenty-five…

by
I spent the night in a restless sleep, every noise sounding like the pop pop AK47 gunfire, loud then faint. My guess is that’s probably what it was. As long as there were no explosions, I’m okay with distant gunfire – that’s nothing new to this area. Most of it is liquored or ‘gack’ed up troops firing into the air in the wee hours of the morning…

by Sigg3
These girls, they were nice and all, but they couldn’t have been more than seventeen. They have this puppy quality to their skin, and their eyes reflect the streetlights. Looking seventeen, they were probably around fifteen, sixteen maybe, making it a no-no for me. Too much emotion…

by May B. Yesno
The logical individual to approach would be the Sheriff. This individual, however, is a first water Bigot and an out right Chauvinist who has been in a position of some little authority far too long…

by Paul D. Lane
Oh well, I thought to myself, I made it through the Gulf war; I can make it through this crap. The Marines go on these deployments for six months at a time. The mission was we go around on ship for six months and hope we don’t see much action…

by Mike Wenner
Somewhere in the middle of dinner, John’s queasy feeling subsided when he let out a huge fart. He felt it coming and tried to contain himself as best he could so not to embarrass himself since a loud fart at the wrong time isn’t always funny. But as you know, a loud fart in certain circumstances can be downright hysterical…

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4 thoughts on “April 2007, Vol. 6, Issue 4: "one of the strongest issues of the year!"”

  1. Just stopping by to say hello, and to point out that its been a while since i’ve seen you. Hope we meet up again soon. I dont know why i write in english, seems like the trend here. well well. Wish you well.

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