News roundup from the 17th up until tomorrow

17th of May
The Seventeenth of May 1814, Norway adopted the modern constitution of America and the French Revolution, and became fiercely proud of it. Most Norwegians are still fiercely proud of it. Didn’t take many years until we were back under occupation, this time by the Nazi regime, but from the fifties and until today Norway has been a sovereign and free democracy sitting on a gold mine. Or oil mine, if you want.

Keeping up with traditions, I’ve heard that Norwegians are one of the few countries in the world to celebrate their National Holiday so fiercely. We don’t do fireworks, but we have fierce traditional costumes based on which fierce region or local area you are from, and we naturally have a fierce flag and public parades all over the country. A field day for extreme nationalists. You simply can’t escape it.

This 17th of May, like any other since I was around fifteen, I was very hung over. What foreigners don’t know is that the 16th is regarded the National Holiday of the Young, meaning there are parties all over the country. I don’t remember very much, although I’ve heard stories about me chucking a chair out off a balcony from the 6th floor, me eating cat food as beer snack, me scaring the cat shitless in the bathroom, and then there was the waking up with shining silver nail polish on all my toes.
I used one and a half hour of the 17th to remove it.
The rest of the day was recreational, you could say, re-creating the normal processes of the body and brain. I crawled out of bed and to the appartment of my brother, got the DVD, bought myself a big chili & pepperoni pizza and took a cab up to my mother’s to watch the film and eat. Along the way to the pizzeria I met this girl who works at one of the bars I’m frequenting, and smiling like a fool I was able to make myself understood in single-word sentences that I was unable to comprehend Anything. It was a good day to relax/keep away from the general public.

Jesus returned!.. and then He was killed. Again.
VG reports that was born again in Omaha, USA in 2001. The miraculous virgin birth of a Hammerhead Shark in a tank containing only females has now been confirmed by scientist, as published in the British Journal Biology Letters. The phenomenon, known among biologists as a "virgin birth," had been observed before among some snakes, lizards, Messiahs and birds, but never a shark, the scientists say. Some sharks can store semen over a very long time, so they performed a DNA test on the new born to see whether Maria could have been impregnated by another variety of the species in the tank. When they removed the mother’s DNA from the sample there was nothing left, and there was much rejoicing.
The pup lasted only a few hours before something killed it, possibly a stingray.

«You can tell by the taste!»
A truck that was formerly owned by Gilde, a Norwegian meat product manufacturer, has been making a lot of fuzz around the East and South of Norway. Helse Sør and Helse Øst bought the used truck to pick up arms, legs and other body parts from the hospitals to be handed in to special waste management. With the old Gilde logo and Gilde’s motto, «You can tell by the taste!», still attached, it hasn’t necessarily brightened up the public image of the company’s meat products. Gilde spokesman refrained from comment when asked whether Gilde could need a hand to correct the company’s bad image, and he subsequently was reported to leave entirely when asked if he needed something else, like an arm or a leg.

New ship hit by stomach virus
Aftenposten reports that another ship in the Coastal Voyage line (Hurtigruten) has been hit with the norovirus. So if you’re a German, French or Japanese tourist who’s been looking forward to do the round-trip (I’ve done it myself) you can now look forward to a spiritual, self-revealing, inner journey as well.
Wikipedia states: "The disease is usually self-limiting, and characterized by nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, and abdominal pain. General lethargy, weakness, muscle aches, headache, and low-grade fever may occur. Symptoms may persist for several days and may become life-threatening in the young, the elderly, and the immune-compromised if dehydration is ignored or not treated."
Such an exciting holiday memory will have you pining for the fjords the rest of your existence.

And last but not least..

Friday the 25th of May every year the world celebrates to commemorate Douglas Adams (1952-2001), author of several science fiction comedy books including the . If you are an avid fan like myself you will bring a towel with you all day, maybe a satchel and a copy of The Guide for evangelization. Myself I’m going to put on my 42 ringer t-shirt from ThinkGeek, as well, being a serious philosopher and that. But whatever you do DON’T PANIC!

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