Norwegian Heavy-Death Satanic Heavy-Black Metal Heavy

Real heavy. So heavy that it can’t be wood, it must be metal. Black metal.
The Kingdom of Norway has three important exports judging from amount and foreign impact: oil, fish and heavy metal. And while a lot of people come to Norway or study Norwegian to read , even more learn the language to understand Norwegian . Good luck! I am Norwegian and I don’t have a clue what they’re trying to purport..

Welcome to Bergen!

But I really think it’s great that Norwegian kids are making an effort to get their message across – that burning churches is completely okay in an open society – although it is screamed at the top of their lungs or mumbled from the bottom of their gut. And writhing in pain as if the bat blood in their faces was their own.

Who took my t-shirt?We have a wide range of satanic bands in Norway, which is completely natural considering we are the best country to live in in the entire world, if the UN reports are worth anything. And Norway wouldn’t be so great without the disgruntled farmkids screaming out their agony with make up on. You must understand that they have such a hard life. Because they are unemployed they have to receive welfare!

Gorgoroth, for instance, an innocent women-crucifying country band was banned from Polen just because they brought along some goat heads. Totally uncool. And from Burzum had to GO TO JAIL! only because a few minor churches spontaneously combusted..
To exemplify how hard it is, I thought I would share with you some real satanic lyrics that I scribbled down the other day when me and a couple of friends went to this hard rock place downtown. This is, seriously, what I was able to distinctly make out as human in the background noise (satanic music):
Gorgoroth - Click for big
From the toilets!
So, depths of the wood
Read the type into darkness.
How turning snow the Earth,
wide estate,
Shame you on. Feel the air
blow your men: communications!
Show your blades.

I felt black-hearted right away. In addition, what most people don’t know is that this tradition stretches far back in time, way back to the seventies. But back then being a satanist was even worse than it is today. They sacrificed single mums over forty on a grand scale, after they had devoured their own genitals. Shiver in your pants, mortal:

Jan Werners

Gert Jonnys

May the stench of the dark one follow you this weekend. Happiness and Love!

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