6th of June Mike said to me: «Get your mind out of the gutter, dude», words that have followed me for twenty days now. He is right. I agree. I must get my mind out of the gutter.. but how? I had forgot about the natural invisibility of the obvious. It’s hard to see something when it’s too close, and especially when it’s yourself.
But today I feel like a rabbit!
Every once in a while I run on a slow burn – like the USS Enterprise on impulse power – only because I have not satisfied myself intellectually. This has gone on for longer periods these days, because I haven’t been to the University since just before X-mas. Everyone gets low when they can’t perform their talents, or fulfill what they are. A carpenter gets low when he can’t get wood. Now, I could make a general analogy from that, but let’s not be vulgar.
I get low when I don’t meet my own challenges, or even take up on them.
What I need is a rabbit vacation.
Today I’ve got a full schedule until ten in the evening. This month is the month of the fat payments. First you get the pay check, which is always nice. And then you get the "vacation money", which is 10% of net earnings from last year, which is even nicer (17k on my part). Lastly, there’s the back taxes. And due to my incredible foresight I’ve paid extra, leaving me with +10k. Meaning I’m stuffed with cash. I’m so full of cash I’ve got pimpin’ pimps pimped.
But money isn’t everything. It’s just something.
What I want to do is to travel a bit. For the last two years I’ve stayed put, except for a short detour to Sudan and a few seminars. This must change. I’m getting so sick of work and of Oslo while the world’s just lying there waiting for me. My plan is to get some visiting done, see some of my quote unquote internet friends, but I don’t want to write the itinerary in stone either.
Back to today: I’m presently working (hey! I am a multi-tasker), I have to eat dinner here because there’s some potential new tenants prospecting at home, then I’ve got a dentist appointment, after which I will pick up the latest addition to the family: a 12.1" Apple iBook that I bought from a friend. I now have two mac laptops in my care.. Lastly, I might have a chat with my sister who’s returning from her "vacation".
Why the quotation marks? She’s unemployed. Or ‘between jobs’, as it were. Heck, inmates are between jobs! Alcoholics are between jobs! Nuns are just, well, on a million year contract, I guess… But I digress.
Rabbit wrote a good piece of literature last night, and yesterday my grandmother phoned me up to hear whether I’d be interested in using her cabin this summer. It sounds like a good idea. If I can get a solar panel up there to recharge the laptop battery, I just might finish that novel I’ve been working on for two years. That would finally give me the freedom to finish the text collection based on Danil Kharms poetry, and the Oslo projects (presently there are three of them, but I might combine).
Last week I checked for bed & breakfast places in Wales for the exact same reason. I need a change of scenery, peace and quiet, a load of notebooks, good pens and my laptop. And preferrably a seaside view. Nothing helps the mind like watching and hearing the waves break. What I don’t need is the suffocating heat we experienced a few weeks back. It was impossible to sleep, let alone to think.
A colleague just sent out an invitation to a workshop for men on finding the male identity and strength! Please, I had the Alphabet of Manliness tattoed on my chest long before I read the book. My first teddy bear was a hammer and I had a full beard age four. "Male identity"… Bah! Look up the words Sweat, Balls and Buffalo.
"In a world where it’s increasingly harder to be proud of the male sex, we try to find and stimulate a mature masculinity."
Bullshit. Try this:
"In a world where wankers make a lot of cash but can’t get laid, we urge you to dish out large sums to NOT hear the truth why you’re not having succex."
Heh. I just forwarded the entire Foundation to a page where they can order Maddox’s book. Must be the good deed of the day. Or the century.
Anyway. Apart from today, I will have to chill it down for a while. I must find out when I can take out some of my holiday. I’m also on the waiting list for a new 25 square metre bedsit with three rooms. Hopefully I can get to see the place this weekend. But as of today I’m just enjoying myself and all the opportunities that I have. Que sera sera.