Bedside talk

– Sometimes you make me feel like a squirrel.
– Good! Squirrels are cute.
– But I don’t want to be "cute"!
– No?
– No! I’m A BEAR!
   Big effin’ brown bear. That’s why I was given the name that I was ffs!
   Besides, what good ever happens to squirrels?
– …
– They go through a life of crime, always looking over their shoulder, always on the run, always trying to nail that last nut and then what happens?!
   I’ll tell you what happens!
   A fat, posh English mansion-owning mofo bastard shoots ’em down for sport!
   Nothing to show for.
   Always trespassing. TRESPASSING!
   That’s why they’re always so jumpy. Always on the edge.
   .. That and the drugs. Wake up sweaty in the middle of the night.
   Squirrels are angsty, disharmonic rodents.
– Koala bear, then?
*facepalm*
– Just don’t take me visiting a sheep farm, is all I’m saying.

The morning after she asked me if I had slept good.
– No, I made a few mistakes.

2 thoughts on “Bedside talk”

  1. Hey, what do you have against squirrels? Yes, sure we’re some sort of criminals, but that’s life. If I had a significant other, which is never going to happen, I’d rather be called a squirrel than something nasty and innuendo-ish.

  2. Hey, what do you have against bears? Yes, sure we’re hairy, but that’s life. If I had a significant other, which is never going to happen, I’d rather be called a bear than something nasty and innuendo-ish.

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