Bedside conversations III (formerly known as Bedside talk)

– Sorry, baby, I’m just exhausted from work
– That’s alright
– Some effin’ mum brought her baby for show-and-tell and completely ruined my lunch
– Awwww
– I hate it when they do that! Do I bring my hardware to work to show around? NO!
   I don’t get it why they have to do that
– Oh come on, they’re probably just bored being at home all day
– Yeah, and I completely support them getting out of the house a little bit.
   But why can’t they just leave the baby at home? Do some housework or whatever
– …
– Anyway, can’t stand those freaggin’ things
– You can’t stand babies?
– That’s right! Leave ’em alone for five minutes and when you get back your wallet’s gone! When you finally catch up they’ll just be smiling at you like a foo
– Really…
– Dirty animals.. get away with anything foaming around the mouth bitches
   Besides.. They’re all slimy and shit
– Babies are not slimy!
– Yes, they are! Just like the goddamn dinosaurs. Can’t trust ’em
– Sigg3, babies are not slimy
– Yeah? Why do they have the saying about bouncing babies? Slippery fucks
– Besides, I don’t think dinosaurs were slimy either
– Like anyone would know. At least dinosaurs don’t cry like demons when on a plane!
– So hang on a minute..
   What you’re saying is that dinosaurs are somehow better than babies?
– Got that right. A whole lot better too.
   I’d rather father a man-eating dinosaur than a baby Jesus!
– Okay…
– They are so cute with their tiny T-rex claws.. just like jazz pianists

– So, do you mind locking up the cuffs now?

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