Bedside conversations IV

– Can I ask you about something, Sigg3?
– Sure, baby, I know everything worth knowing ’bout anything.
– Male facial hair!
– … Right. What about it?
– If a guy in puberty never shaves, will the beard be thinner at the tips?
– That’s pretty racist, but okay..
   T’way I see it, puberty’s not that cracked up as it’sposed to be.
   First thing you notice is pubic hair.
– I don’t wanna know about pubic hair.
– Second thing is frequent arousals. Or the other way around.
– I don’t wanna know about arousals either.
– Then there’s the tuning of the voice.
   Like saying something important only noticing that you’re not speaking.
   You’re squeaking. Like a sawmill singing mouse with throat-cancer.
– Sigg3..
– Facial hair, right! Arrives like the rest of the hair, but lands in the face.
   It’s just like chicken down, peach fuzz, whatever..
   It curls up and dies pretty fast. Just mending the roots, I suppose.
   Then you get real beardy hair-like substances.
– So the first hair just falls off?
– Survival of the fittest, baby. Beard to down’s like T-Rex to a newt.

– How come you don’t have any beard, like your brother?
– Nah, not my kind of style.. I don’t wanna make a muff of my face.
– You don’t have beard-growing material do you?
– Let’s change the subject, shall we?
– …
– Wanna say hello to the hairless hamster?

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