The Interview: Hillary & Oh-Bama

Heard on the radio this morning that it is most definite, 100% positive and sure this time around, that Obama Obama is the presidential candidate for the 2008 election in the United States of the American Empire. The citizens have have ruled: a president needs to have a penis. Universal Records says in a press statement that they’ve signed an agreement with Australian artist Nick Cave to write the victory song. It’s believed to be a re-written Obama version of the song called Oh Mama. Oh Bama!

In a lucky turn of events, a correspondent got hold of Hillary right after the fallout, and was able to get a few answers exclusively to the readers of Hold on to your hats.

Sigg3: So, Hillary, is this a sad day for the white race?
Hillary: No, not at all! It’s Wednesday.
Sigg3: Will you consider to approach the Obama clan as a step to gather the troops?
Hillary: As I said in the speech, I’ll make no definite decision tonight
Sigg3: Given your victory in drinking McCain under the table (check it), do you consider Obama a capable man for the position? Will he be able to live up to the prejudices about slave labor home brew as portrayed by author Mark Twain?
Hillary: As I said in the speech, I’ll make no definite decision tonight
Sigg3: Right.. Are you drunk?
Hillary: Go on
Sigg3: Do you consider creationism symptomatic of USA’s educational system?
Hillary: A leading question. But I think God created men, and men created religion.
Sigg3: Good answer! Do you eat bacon?
Hillary: Luv it. Can’t have enough. All night long it’s bacon!
Sigg3: But you endorse vegetarian voters?
Hillary: Yeah, the poor things. There’s another flaw in basic education for ya.
Sigg3: If a baby seal was gorging on a North Korean baby, what would you do?
Hillary: That’s a tough question, but nature must take its course regardless.
Sigg3: Now a completely different question. If a baby seal was gorging on a glorious American Jesus-like innocent baby with tears of starlight and a rump of velvet, wrapped in the Union Jack, what would you do?
Hillary: Baby seal must die. They are harmful to the environment.
Sigg3: Speaking of which, do you consider Bill Gates’ Windows OS pollution of the natural *nix desktop environments?
Hillary: What?
Sigg3: What do you prefer? Clean shave or ruggedly handsome?
Hillary: In public: Clean shave. In private: ruggedly handsome
Sigg3: Riding on the back of a tortoise, what kind of tortoise is it?
Hillary: Like, the big marine ones, big land ones and tiny pet ones?
Sigg3: Yeah
Hillary: Pet size. I just like the cracking sound of crushing shell under my bum. That said, I think every little girl all around the globe likes to ride the big one.
Sigg3: Dr. Ron Paul won the heart of many internet users during the Republican nominations, do you think he would have been a harder opponent than a right-wing fascist fossil that is likely to win anyway due to his backing from the Bush dynasty and other reptilian aliens?
Hillary: Ron who?

In closing an interview Obama had this to say to Google News:

Obama: Change! Have any change?!
Google: So what do you feel about the outcome now that you are the presidential candidate of the quote unquote Democratic party of the United States of the American Empire?
Obama: I feel great! And ready for change! These clothes smell.
Google: Is there a place for Hillary in your proposed administration?
Obama: For a better future we must all be willing to change, reminding me of the South Park Saddam special "I can change, I can change."
Google: And that’s what we have from the winning side, probably one in which Hillary will have a say as well in their joint effort against candidate McCain of the quote unquote Republican party. At least that’s my 2 cents.
Obama: CAN I HAVE THEM?! Change?! CHANGE!

5 thoughts on “The Interview: Hillary & Oh-Bama

  1. That smelly Obama! Last time he tried to trick me, he dressed up as a girl in red and tried to seduce me while I was drinking. The dialogue went like this:

    koew: Hey baby!
    Obama: Hey there, sugar.
    koew: Oh, you’re looking mighty fine this evenin’
    Obama: Why thank you, I’m all ready for the tropical hotdog night!
    koew: I’m sure you are. So what might a good girl like you need?
    Obama: …Uh I need about tree-fitty.

    Well, it was about that time that I notice that girl was about 6ft tall, and was actually an US Senator running for president.

  2. You hit it on the nail there, Mira. Or, dare I say, the head.

    At least Oh-Bama has an advantage over McCain. If things get tough, he’ll just say: "Suck on my chocolate salty balls. Put ’em in yo mouth n suck’em!"

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