You might have read about my excellent N95, only to hear that it was stolen from me. But my friends still only hear a constant sound of nothing. ‘Cause I’m still without a phone! That’s right. I must be the most laid back, stressed out little hamster you could ever imagine.
After receiving the legal papers entitling me to a new phone it took another three weeks for me to actually take the papers to the store and get it. I got the exact same model, now referred to as "the original N95", even though I could have had any phone on the planet. Ish. That’s because the original has a lens cover which is quite essential to a camera, despite the fact that people buy new and better (!) phones today without them. The power of supply and demand. It’s like using the same condom over and over again and still expect it to do the job.. And someone’s demanding it.
I took it home, cradled it nicely on its own little pillow and went to sleep. The following morning it was fully charged and still not stolen. I took it to my entrusted laptop and began upgrading the firmware, which always keeps me at the edge of the seat until a bold Firmware Upgrade Complete signs light up, and the phone reboots. It went very well. I moved to the rear of the seat and proceeded to the backups. It also went well. Until I rebooted the thing, and it was bricked. It wasn’t stolen, thank god, but it was as useful as a brick.
Bricks are useful when you build a house. Not to dial 911. Or an escort service.
It would boot up to that Nokia handshake, which always comforts me, because even though I don’t have any idea who those two men on my screen are, they seem to agree about it. Whatever ‘it’ is. Could be a drug deal. Or human trafficking. Or a contract kill. Who knows? Maybe he just got a fake rolex to a great price and wants to shake on the deal? I just wait for them to agree so I can type in my PIN code. But they wouldn’t allow me this time. There was an error message that the phone was in serious trouble, probably because of the handshake, and would refuse to cooperate until I took it back to the store. Damn.
So two weeks later I took it back to the store and complained about the Nokia restore software that didn’t even have a warning about restoring backups from previous versions, but it was all fine and dandy, covered by the warranty and that; but if I took it to the store next door I could get it a lot faster than the x weeks they need at central command.
ITSATRAP! I thought. They want me to pay more. But time’s an issue.
So I went along to the next store where I had to sit down and wait in line. For another two weeks. Then I got it back ALL FOR FREE with a British operating system instead of the Norwegian one, which is good because the Norwegian men. is. all. abbr. But now what?
I’ve been staring at it for weeks. The newly fixed phone has a v30 firmware. My backup is v21. I’ve been without a phone for 9 proper versions! If this pace keeps up I’m gonna have to train myself some carrier pigeons. Or brick it again.