I got this in my e-mail this morning and being such a karma whore I’ll post it here in full in verbatim. The original subject line was "Public relation campaigns and the use of the words". Enjoy!
Rule #1: In the Middle East, it is always the Palestinians that attack first, and it’s always Israel who defends itself. This is called "retaliation".
Rule #2: The Palestinians are not allowed to kill Israelis. This is called "terrorism".
Rule #3: Israel has the right to kill Palestinian civilians; this is called "self-defense", or "collateral damage".
Rule #4: When Israel kills too many Palestinian civilians, the Western world calls for restraint. This is called the "reaction of the international community".
Rule #5: Palestinians do not have the right to capture Israeli military, not even 1 or 2.
Rule #6: Israel has the right to capture as many Palestinians as they want (over 10,000 to date being held without trial). There is no limit; there is no need for proof of guilt or trial. All that is needed is the magic word: "terrorism".
Rule #7: When you say "Hamas", always be sure to add "supported by Hezbollah, Syria and Iran".
Rule #8: When you say "Israel", never say "supported by the USA, the UK, European countries and even some Arab regimes", for people (God forbid) might believe this is not an equal conflict.
Rule #9: When it comes to Israel, don’t mention the words "occupied territories", "UN resolutions", "Geneva conventions". This could distress the audience of Fox, CNN, etc.
Rule #10: Israelis speak better English than Arabs. This is why we let them speak out as much as possible, so that they can explain rules 1 through 9. This is called "balanced journalism".
Rule #11: If you disagree with these rules or if you favor the Palestinian side over the Israeli side, you must be a very dangerous anti-Semite. You may even have to make a public apology if you express your honest opinion.
(Isn’t democracy wonderful?)
It’s funny. Laugh! I don’t know about you, but I know a few Arabs who would find this hilarious. War, distress and sense of futility always breed some really wry humor.