Happy Terrorist Day!

Happy terrorist day, everyone! In the spirit of the occasion, you’ll be glad to hear that I had a terrible day today, at least the first half of it. You could even say it was terrorible. Whoa! New word.

My one and only Lady C (one is quite enough) has run away to Denmark with her girl friends for the weekend; to eat lobster en masse, hang out in some cabin and wear pajamas while they accidentally brush up against each other at nightfall and there may even be some accidental cupping and kissing too after lights… *sigh*

My boss turns fifty and I’ve been assigned to make a present, that is to say: "Sigg3 be funny cuz you R teh funnay!" So I made a poster from the administration drawing on the delicate flower known as Conan the Barbarian, and a picture of my boss, to be presented this evening. In order to reach the deadline I had to get up real early in the morning and head down to Oslo City at opening hours 10 o’clock.
I hate early mornings and I hate Oslo city, so you can imagine how happy I was when I got there half an hour too early.

I bought a coffee and sat down on a bench by the bus stop outside. There was a North-Norwegian middle-aged man conducting some questionable deal with a likewise old Asian fellow. He’d borrowed the Northerners phone and whoops! there was the credit card too, and from what I could hear it was an interesting AND intriguing meeting behind two human beings to transpire sometime in the immediate future. Or, as I was thinking, he’d be robbed.

The shop finally opened and I stepped inside. "Hey, I need two prints in A3 format and I need the quick!" She gave me blank stare before we made mad love on the counter.. Or she showed me to the self-service computers in the corner running some proprietary program on Win XP. I mean, what has happened to the concept of service in this country? In all western countries?! Suddenly I can understand the guy outside with the Asian guy. He’s not gonna have sit and wait through the dial-a-whore waiting line, while he does all the work and the prostitutes are out for lunch.

One hour to delivery.. I had to hang out in the shopping center. In a shopping center. I’ve never done that before. There were all sorts of scary looking people, everywhere! Drug addicts, shopaholics, mallrats, telephone subscription salesmen, and this great ebony girl standing by the flower shop outside who had the most perfectly heart-shaped buttocks I’ve seen since Lady C. It was horrific-bizarre. Not the bum but the people.
You know, at the university everyone’s trying so hard to get some attention that weird is not only accepted but encouraged. Everyone dresses like the Mysterious mr. S! The weirder the better. But in there it was the exact opposite. Everyone tried too hard to be normal. Hardcore normality takes its toll and from my point of view the only person not appearing a complete freak was the girl in the coffee shop. And she was in a coma, apparently.

Got the picture, frame, and the telephone number from the girl on the counter. Nah, just kidding. But I got a text message saying that my pictures were ready to pick up. While standing there. That’s service for you. Then I rented a cab, which was a hybrid car and ran only on electricity, to get home where I had a bacon sandwich. And then I headed to uni.

Apart from actually voting in the democratic election, this afternoon was spent on getting the picture fit the frame and heading to the party. Party was good. There was a real live horse, and we get to play some golf and hand over my picture in a very official manner. Add a few more beers, a terrible Coq au vin which tasted like stale bread, old meat and pepper, and everyone telling stories of Oslo from before I was conceived and you got the night right there. Well, I’m beat and I’m going to bed. Have a nice terrorist day. And 3,555 people have died from the swine flu, a very mild flu, world wide. That’s about 500 people more than those who died on 9-11. Americans, get over yourself and have a look at the terrible things in the world just happening for no other reason than oil, money and territory. And the intrusion of US forces into conflicts you have no comprehensive understanding of whatsoever. Not to mention the sabotage of the United Nations.
Good luck (with your empire) and good night!

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