It’s been a while now, around 3 years to be exact, but here we’re back again with childish IRC quotes from the wonderful people at bash.org. What did I just say? I meant hilariously funny quotes from the guys at bash.org. Skip this post if you’re a minor in your respective country, or not. I couldn’t care less, thanks!
<AxelDesade> Good god, I need a life.
<Colty> Why’s that?
<AxelDesade> I was entertained for over an hour today by refreshing a captcha until it said something funny or made a cool band name.
<MisVampyre> i’m so outta questions….i’m horrible at asking them
<rhys_rhaven> questions are cute
<rhys_rhaven> but the real way to understand a person is simple
<rhys_rhaven> you wind a cord around the top of the biggest pair of stairs you can find
<rhys_rhaven> and then you wait till a person is about to walk down the stairs, where they will obviously trip and have horrible things happen to them
<rhys_rhaven> and then you walk 20 feet way. and you put a thing of frozen bacon in a skillet
<rhys_rhaven> and you make the skillet so it can only be heated by a locked drum underneath it, which can be lit only by a single pilot light, which you then line with det cord trailing to a small mortar next to it. which you fill with kittens
<rhys_rhaven> hungry, meowing kittens
<MisVampyre> oh. my. god.
<rhys_rhaven> And lastly you put a timer on the on the propane for the bacon. So they have a choice
<rhys_rhaven> save the person
<rhys_rhaven> save the kittens
<rhys_rhaven> or eat the bacon
<MisVampyre> you’re awesome
<MisVampyre> omg..eat the bacon
<rhys_rhaven> Thats it. I love you
<Takargi> Perfect weekend for me. Liverpool beat the Bitters with 10 men, England win at Rugby and Freddie’s first words are Daddie ;)
<Takargi> Freddie was looking at the milkman at the time though which is worrying…
<Velkyr> Why is it when your wife or girlfriend gets pregnant, all her friends rub her belly and say "congratulations!"
<Velkyr> But nobody rubs your dick and says "Good Job"?
<@moss> oh jesus
<@moss> its 6 PM
<@moss> not am
<Tiq> What have you missed, moss?
<@moss> uh… wednesday
<DrBob> You’ll never get it. Men weren’t meant to understand women.
<Odin> not true.
<Odin> I’ve managed to solve for the fundamental logic operation of women.
<DrBob> It’s just best to let them do what they want, so they’ll let us do stuff to them.
<Odin> Nono let me explain.
<Odin> Women are fundamentally amplifiers.
<Odin> Anything you give them expect to get back multiplied
<Odin> give them money you don’t have in the form of a credit card, expect a huge debt
<Odin> give them a little love, and they’ll give you a lot of love back
<Odin> give them a little DNA in the bedroom
<Odin> and they give you a baby
<Odin> So if you give them crap, you’d better be ready to receive a ton of shit
<prote> apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
<Neo> so you know those peta campaigns, "I’d rather go naked than wear fur"?
<Neo> it’s a pretty horrible idea when you think about it
<Neo> "stop eating animals or we’ll keep showing you pics of hot chicks all naked like"
<Neo> yeah, brillant plan there guys
<@baka> anyone here ever eaten sushi off a naked woman?
<Sloshed> no thanks
<@baka> i’m intrigued
<@Sadrak> I’d volunteer to do the dishes
<GoldyOrNugget> who would bother decompiling windows
<GoldyOrNugget> thats like breaking in to a top secret company to steal a mop
<amb> let’s make a coloring book
<amb> and then sue kids for unauthorized derivative works
<Vinny> they should build another barad-dur
<Vinny> give sauron some depth perception
<Chapdizzle> i fucking hate when people think guys should shave their chest. Its what makes us men, suck a fat dick. shaving bodily hair is for women. my chest hair serves multiple uses such as floss, fishing line, warmth, crumb catcher, and if i wanted i could pull a shitload of it out and make a net to catch small animals or fish
<popemichael> I was in line to buy a new DVD player. The woman in front of me was having something delivered.
<popemichael> The clerk asked for her ‘street name’ she replied "I don’t have one I go by Shanice."
<x-c0n> Dude I was so drunk last night.. apparently this girl said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered, "Simba".