The changes that came unto us, like me on yo momma

I’ve been crap at blogging lately, I know. I’m all like, I’m about to blog right this minute when all of a sudden I just can’t be arsed. Though it’s more like: CAN’T BE ARSED! So I cancel on the mofo, words of wisdom* disappearing right into the browser cache, never to be seen again. (* There are other opinions on this.)

But I don’t give up. Never. My readers give up. Most of them have got lives to live, bills to pay and blogs to read. They don’t have time to stop by here just looking at the lack of updates. No, sir. My readers are a spineless bunch of assholes. But me? No. I don’t give up. I stop by here daily, to see if I’ve written something lately. But I haven’t. So I walk on home, all disappointed, trying not to cry in the cold, cold winterland of downtown Oslo. Some beggars run me down, stomping on my Nokia Internet Tablet, when they see I’ve got up. Oh my.

I can’t apologize to myself enough. I can’t even begin to. Instead I’m sitting here trying to blog about it. I know what it is that breaks a blogger, however. I’ve been in the industry since the 2000s, man. Back when bytes cost money and websites would be hard pressed to keep the kilobyte count below 20, to cater for the 56.6K users.

Yeah, you Web 2.0 children can kiss my shiny ass. You don’t know what it’s like to have to saturate BOTH of your ISDN lines to get a game from the latest WareZ 0-day ftp because it will disappear the next day. Mum coming home all angry ’cause she thought the house was burned down to the ground. Sorry, we were just downloading illegal software from the other side of the world. Back when WinAMP was new and people thought mp3 was an Isreali handgun!

It was hard.

But I digress! I was talking about breaking bloggers, and do you know what breaks bloggers the most? Having no idle time! Having to work for cash! I mean, I’ve always been working for cash, but I never had to really work for them. Having responsibilities, being a responsible businessperson, that takes a lot of your energy. Having to fight the bureaucracy, demanding CHANGE! like Obama, and working to implement those changes; it takes your energy and more. You also end up like the bureaucracy that you tried to get rid of in the first place. Lesson number one: When you change from something, you always change to something else. If you haven’t figured out the latter part before going through the first, you’re doing it wrong.

So as a blogger I’ve been broken.
I’ve had too much shite to do that takes away way too much of me, so when I’m really done with it I just wanna sit down. Sit down on a park bench, feed the pigeons. Fuck, I wanna grow old and retire! that’s how tired you get. But I’m just freaking 26 or something. So you doze off in front of the TV and what do you know; tomorrow’s another day.

The ultimate fatigue of being overworked in the IT sector has led to a sort of fear of failure, and you can’t have a shoddy blog post. What will people think? I just forgot that there’s no one reading this shit except for me (and the aliens in the future that are doing archaeological digs in our civilization’s remains; hello aliens! How do you like them apples? I can’t believe I’m asking questions into the future and still expecting some kind of answer. Hehehe. Weird monkey. But we’re more like apes, really.) and got this image of angry, old businesspeople – gray haired and old – staring hard at me down their noses from the other side of the conference table. Like they would ever read my blog. They wouldn’t read my blog. They’re reading yo momma’s blog.

But that’s the mental image (when I blog, you dirty-minded prick).

Anyway. I deserve to relax, to have a little time-off, to just stare blankly at the weird world MTV’s showing me. I’m not part of that shit, but it’s fascinating. Socio-anthropological like. Did you ever notice how Discovery Channel’s Man versus Wild has sorted of stopped being about survival tips and how to overcome survival situations, and become more of seeing what Bear will do to himself this time? Now, when people talk about survival I’m left out of the conversation because Man versus Wild isn’t serious enough. In order to survive, you gotta watch Survivorman, at the least!

But this blog ain’t about what it used to be. It’s about the now. And if a lack of posts has signified that I am otherwise busy, it has indeed reflected my reality quite accurately. I’ve been building my own home. I’ve been building an office and a role in IT. And studied on the side. I got a B on my last exam, mind you. What did you get?

Experience helps though.
If you thought this post was incoherent you should be glad you didn’t read it back in the day. Nothing ever used to make sense back then. It still doesn’t but it didn’t used to too. I can still make another cup of coffe before lunch. Yup.

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