Star Wars Blu-ray Marathon, minute by minute

Lady C recently bought the Complete Star Wars Saga on Bluray, and she decided that we would all get together to watch them chronologically over 2-3 evenings, starting tonight. Since we will begin with the beginning, The Phantom Menace, no one is here except for me, Lady C and her sister Vixen. I guess there will be some more people in a couple of hours, and even more tomorrow evening when we begin with the first films (IV, V and VI). The following is my continuously updated live-log from the event as it transpires.

Friday 6:30 pm
We have only just begun watching. Lady C has made us Porter Steak and we’ve just watched Queen Amidala flee Naboo. I sincerely loathe the cartoonish Jalla Jalla Jar Jar Binks character.. But I have to eat while it’s hot!

Friday 7:55 pm
We’ve returned to Naboo after a fruitless debate in the Seeeenate, and Queen Amidala just bowed down before the Giant Toad to join forces. The Porter Steak was fine, but Lady C used the wrong ale and the sauce was a little too bitter for my taste.

We have discussed various bloody endings of the life of Jar Jar Binks. We have also noted what an effin’ greedy racist George Lucas is. You won’t agree that the braided Jamaica-sounding servant/slave Jar Jar is not a racist image? And then we’re all Pulp Fiction in the Jedi council, with Samuel L. Jackson silently adding ‘mothafuckah’ to every single sentence. If skin colour was so important, they should’ve used Morgan Freeman. This Jedi council’s been institutionalized.

I remember watching the racing scenes in the cinema, thinking that it was some sort of commercial or hidden advertisement for a new Playstation game or something. It looks even more so on Bluray.

Friday 9:10 pm
Oh, shit. The young padawan Anakin has just kissed Senator Amidala (didn’t know she "lost her job"), while Obi-Wan’s visiting the lost planet to look at the Clone army. Lady C just woke up from a little nap, and my brother Koew just phoned in to tell he wasn’t coming after all. I can’t bare more terrible actors with artificial lines. I think I’ll have a beer.

Friday 11:12 pm
We’ve just begun the third installment of George Lucas’ silver screen masturbation. I haven’t seen this one before so I’ve got to pay attention. I’ll drop by for a last update when the movie’s done, I think.

Friday 11:16 pm
Right. Whatever Natalie Portman’s been doing, she should stop it. She looks like a two-dollar hooker in this flick:


Can you spell E-A-T-I-N-G-D-I-S-O-R-D-E-R? or C-R-A-C-K-P-I-P-E?

Friday 11:48 pm
We’ve just watched General Ben Kenobi bash it out on General Griveous. We’re making some wiener dogs for those who’s feeling a bit nibblish.

Saturday 1:17 am
So, that’s the first half of the Star Wars saga, having seen the Revenge of the Sith for the first time. I find that while its script was more adult-oriented it felt very strained trying to fill in each and every empty spot between the previous and the next installment. Not very creative, but from the first three it was definitely the best.
I really dislike CGI Yoda. Whenever I see him, I completely lose the feel of the story and instead it seems that I’m watching a poor commercial for LEGO Star Wars or something. I have no respect for George Lucas whatsoever. We’ll see the first three (IV-VI) tomorrow evening, hopefully with more than 3 people attending. Until then, have a good one!

Saturday 6:28 pm
We just started the first Star Wars film, A New Hope. I think some of the desert scenes from after the droids landed were pretty grainy. I can’t remember if they were so grainy in the old VHS versions. Otherwise the level of detail so far is good.

Saturday 6:46 pm
We will delay the first flick until the pork chops are done.

Saturday 9:03 pm
That concludes A New Hope. It’s still a great movie, but I don’t like the adjustments Lucas did in the first digitalizations (also available as VHS) that also accompany this film. Lucas has added some cartoonish and wholly unnecessary scenes with creatures walking by or heckling each other. Unbelievable. So far we’re me, Lady C, Vixen and their brother and her pregnant girlfriend. We’re preparing for the usually most-esteemed 5th installment of the Saga after a short break. Looking forward to it!

Saturday 10:43 pm
Luke is torn between his Jedi training in the Empire strikes back and saving his friends that he saw suffering in a vision of the future. They’re in Bespin at the moment. I had a little nap to regain consciousness after Lady C’s most brilliant pork chops.

Saturday 11:30 pm
And it is a great film! We’ve lost two guests who had to get up early tomorrow morning, but the core three are still here, ready to enjoy the very last installment (or third, if you’re my age).

Sunday 1:57 am
Finally we are done! The last three flicks are sort of what you’d expect them to be, with random inserts from the manic mind of George Lucas. I have so far not seen a single necessary or substantial insert. They all seem like the whims of a madman, a sales man targeting children, with stupid additions instead of meaningful contributions. It’s nice to have seen all of the movies in two sittings like this. I will probably never do it again. Star Wars is always great, but the meddling of its rights-owner leaves a sour taste in my mouth. I would spend quite a lot of money on a Bluray version of the Star Wars films (4-6) as they were shown on the day of the premiere, and there are many of us out there, but I fear it will never happen. Instead of a Scorcese-deep space opera, what we have is a result of greed, and so it will slowly fade away into oblivion.. The lesson to be learned here: Don’t mess with a winning story, and don’t fuck the fans.

It’s a little over 2 in the morning and we’re getting ready to go to bed. I hope you’ve had a nice weekend. Mine has been off the charts in TV watching and space fighting, not to mention beer, chocolate and popcorn. Let’s hope it’s some time until the next movie marathon. Cheers!

4 thoughts on “Star Wars Blu-ray Marathon, minute by minute”

  1. It’s a spaghetti Western in space. Like a fairytale it never was supposed to be realistic, but to entertain and perhaps teach us something:)
    It’s pulp fiction in space.

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