I had a hard time this morning, waking up realizing that I was in the army. It didn’t make me laugh, but it didn’t make me cry either. It’s like a spritual limbo, a dungeon of ignorance which – if I close my mouth and concentrate till March – will go away. But there are consequences.
Now I’m at my office. It’s the biggest one in the building, being the old moved-out library, and sitting in this vast space all alone really makes me feel small. Accompanied by a sulking cup of coffe, a depressed hard-drive and a mourning computer display I am ready to feel unwelcome in this melancholy Friday.
And I don’t get the point of car alarms. Ok, I get the actual point, the idea, but people walking by a car who’s screaming and blinking for attention don’t give a damn. Because it was, always, the owner of the car who activated it in the first place. And thus I’m struck with ignorant annoyance.
It all boils down to the party tonight.
First of all, I’ve been partying for two days, ready-made hangovers happily infiltrating and detoriating my beautiful mind. Which means that I’d really been looking forward to a day off. Getting my dirty laundry done, perhaps. Watching some television. I don’t know. But it’s a good friend’s birthday, so I really must pay him my respects.
This is where the plot thickens.
‘Cause there’s another person in this city which also needs to pay our mutual friend a visit, give him a toast, something I respect and approve of, but this person and I really don’t get along so well at the moment. The entire situation being my fault and my responsibility, I hate to see him having to choose. So I gave him no problem saying to me that he should just invite the other invitee and leave me alone, ’cause I could do with a night without drinking. But he said no. And I’ve unwantingly captured him in a predicament destined to be by my past actions, a predicament I myself wouldn’t touch with a 30ft pole.
and then there’s Tom Waits tells me: «There’s a sucker born every minute, you’re just lucky to come around at the right time.» But I’m beginning to doubt my timing. I’ve always been late for everything, why not this as well?