I feel handsome today, here I’m sitting for an hour in the reception. My hair is not overdone, not too shabby, I’m smartly dressed in a wollen "old-man’s" trouser and a fake, black Kashmir sweater and my black leather jacket adding a rebel feeling to it all. And, of course, the never changing twinkle in my eye that no woman can resist. I am, all in all, at my peak today.
Now all I need is someone to flirt with. So much for my luck.
On the other hand, my eyes are red and dull despite my welcoming smile, leaving little doubt concerning my doings last night. Not overly drunk, not overly sober. A generally good time. Must they keep on rolling in!
I look around me seeking pleasurable amusement. There is none. I have a half-filled cup of radioactive machine-coffee to my right, the reception phone to my left. A tall desk shelters my actions from any visitors, only my good-spirited face will meet the welcomed ones. I am thinking; where is the love of today? And know instantly that there’s no answer to it, but even this doesn’t let my spirit down.
A sip of coffee.
So, the first ten minutes have passed. 50 minutes left. This day will be very short, I presume, but in the morrow I will long for its self-carried confidence that I now share. Would I only have such confidence in the weekend! but no. In the weekends I’m diversing myself doing laundry and watching TV, a pass-time I’m not privilieged with in middle of the week. In the weekends I try not to tempt myself, and in the week I am buissy with work, so when do I please myself? Good question. But I have plenty of books, and lately I’ve plunged into the world of Dune, Frank Herbert’s testimony to mankind. I’ve almost completed the 3,000 pages in two weeks. I will read it again.
A student just called, worrying about wether one of our (Fafo’s) publications she’ve ordered will reach her in time. She was doing her exam. Another world I’m seperated from. Studying. Oh, but I do study, it’s only that I will never see it on paper. She sounded sweet, though.
What is it with me today? Musings and musings, but little facts. I guess I’ll just have to enjoy my peak for as long as it’s there. Today I am the passionate one. Tomorrow – who knows?