#511932
<joshkr> Who is this General Error, and why’s he scanning my hard drive?
<de0n> He’s the boss of Major Malfunction
<bismuth> Looking for Private Pictures
#508163
Zipalooie: i’d rather walk home from boston on train tracks drunk
Zipalooie: and blindfolded
Zipalooie: with headphones on blasting slayer at full volume
Zipalooie: than get in a car with your sister again
#507131
* Kederaji is now officially offended by the Red Cross.
<FraX> How much blood did they want today?
<Kederaji> Well, you know that questionnaire they ask you before they poke you with the needle?
<FraX> Yeah.
<Kederaji> Well, the guy took a look at me and started marking all the sex related questions as "No".
<Kederaji> Didn’t even bother to ask me, just marked them "No."
<Kederaji> The bastard.
<FraX> Was he right?
#128114
<Firefly> Time for my prayers:
<Firefly> Our Father, who 0wnz heaven, j00 r0ck!
<Firefly> May all 0ur base someday be belong to you!
<Firefly> May j00 0wn earth just like j00 0wn heaven.
<Firefly> Give us this day our warez, mp3z, and pr0n through a phat pipe.
<Firefly> And cut us some slack when we act like n00b lamerz, just as we teach n00bz when they act lame on us.
<Firefly> Please don’t give us root access on some poor d00d’z box when we’re too pissed off to think about what’s right and wrong, and if you could keep the fbi off our backs, we’d appreciate it.
<Firefly> For j00 0wn r00t on all our b0x3s 4ever and ever, 4m3n.
#338364
<Alanna> Saying that Java is nice because it works on all OS’s is like saying that anal sex is nice because it works on all genders
#201579
<by> Is there anyway I can tell the world I’m an idiot?
<Seven7> Of course, just type your name, where you live and your confession
<by> Kk
<by> I am Mark Duval of Belgium, and I am an idiot
<by> ?
<by> Now what?
<Seven7> Don’t worry. It’s done
#315042
<sexor> I went shopping last night at like 1am. the place was empty, and this old woman, just making polite convertation, said to me: "where is everyone??".
<sexor> I replied: "In bed, same place you and I should be!"
<sexor> Took me ten minutes to figure out why she gave me a dirty look
#197845
<SRG> Metallica sold out in 45 mins :/
<NotOneOfUs> Yeah I know.
<NotOneOfUs> Oh wait
<NotOneOfUs> You mean, like, a concert?
<SRG> yes
#5523
<Opcode> i was gonna call 911…but i was downloading a file
#281421
mdiym42: note to self
mdiym42: make sure your cat is not sleeping in the bass drum before you start playing them