This gal who just moved in with us about a month ago, just bought a new shower curtain. It was a great thing to do, considering the old one had been classified ‘biological’ for some time, and some of us even wondered whether it was sentient. As some of you might remember, there’s a humidity problem where I live…
Anywho, this morning I had an angstfull experience with it. There I was, ready to face the day, the red parties having won the Norwegian general election and all (wohoo!), going into the shower.. Now, there is something about the ventilation (or lack thereof) in the bathroom which makes the shower curtain draw closer to you as the water gets hotter. Imagine this happening in a hysterical moment, Tuesday morning, and you’re half-way into your dreams. Then imagine that the new shower curtain that you didn’t notice the night before or even when you got into the bathroom, has birds on it. Yes. Packs of them. With small, emotionless eyes, and sharp beaks.
As I was standing there, dizzy and washing my hair, the birds came pushing on to me like some old gay man. They pressed me into the corner, and I yelled, but to no avail. They stopped once the water was turned off.
I’ve had fights with shampoo bottles before, but this was far worse.
So I almost ran out, careful not to slip, when I almost crashed into the new girl standing in queue outside the bathroom. She was smiling (happy, little Christian) and asked me what I thought about the new shower curtain that she’d bought for all of us.. Fishing for compliments, eh?
– IT’S GOT BIRDS ON IT!!
– Yes…?
– The Birds? Ever seen the Birds? [see the Birds]
Dumbfound look was all I got.
I’m still at a loss as to what to do, but I’ve gotto run. I’ve got classes now: metaphysics, logics and continental philosophy. That’s three courses, not a bundle. That’s the kind of stuff that should be able to draw my emotional self from the horrors of the morning. And alas I dread ye passing of the Day; as tomorrow – another shower!
… And those freaggin’ birtds.