«No good deed goes unpunished»

.. sayeth the quote of the day.
I was just thinking: "What kind of good deeds have I done lately?"
Frankly it’s just not a few, it’s none at all. You could say that I’ve been indirectly involved in the realization of some deed per se. But that hardly qualifies. It’s like saying the driver of President Kennedy’s car was responsible for his death. And, as you know, I had nothing to do with that!

Lately I’ve been flashing my uncontested supremacy over the bathroom areas of my appartment. My roomies leave me to it when I’m in there. And stop thinking dirty. It’s just that most people seem to think that I’m never in a hurry. Well, let me spell it out for you: if you’re late, you’re in a hurry. I’m always late. My mother has always given me a hard time about my birth, since it seemed I didn’t want to come out. So I was late for that too.

Today I was in a hurry because God has unleashed a second Flood, and my umbrella is broken. In fact it is both broken and tossed away. ’cause I was thinking well, now that it’s nearly christmas we will have more snow and cold but oh no! The weathergods, those schizophrenic bastardos, have just decided that for a moment here we’re just going to allow everything to happen. Make it rain. And if I bow to these circumstances and buy myself an umbrella, the rain will stop, and I’ll be walking around in the snow or the sun like a total moron.
Do I sound paranoid? Must be the stress. I should’ve been outside with a cigarette.

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