Time for the Christmas cleaning, folks!

So, it’s closing in on Christmas, at least that’s what I hear, so I reckon it’s about time to do my Christmas cleaning. Actually, it’s about time to do my August cleaning too. And September and October and November.
Don’t tell anyone. I don’t want everybody to know what a pig I am.
A friend of mine, a girl, said to me: "Sigg3, I had no idea you were such a pig."
To which my soul-searching reply was: oink?

I am no pig.
It doesn’t make sense. If I was a pig I would not have been able to update this webpage that often, or not at all. Although pigs are genetically close to humans, closer than you’re probably comfortable with knowing, it’s not an overstatement but a flat out lie that I am one. How can I study Philosophy if I am a pig? I would have trouble just flippin’ the pages!
And fitting in those tight benches at the auditoriums is not as easy as it looks, pig or not. And I’m skinny as a whisper in the night. Tell me, how was I supposed to be able to participate in the obligatory team work – which I mostly loathe or hate – or both – – if I was a pig, eh?

‘sides, pigs are not filthy animals.
They’re quite clean. That’s a fact. And they’re cunningly clever as well, those little devils. And fast runners!
So we differ too much to be the same species.
Uhm. What am I saying? Of course, we’re quite similar, pigs and I. We’re cunningly clever, little devils, and fast runners too! So be it; I think, therefore I am – a pig.

On a side note, I don’t think Descartes would’ve been so happy to learn how similar we are to pigs. Somehow I’ve got the impression that good, old René was not the kind of chap who made jokes about himself. Neither do I. So I must be a pig, a Cartian pig, as it were.

So, ok, my place is not exactly the Taj Mahal, but if I would have liked my place to be like Taj Mahal, I’d bought Taj Mahal instead. Or rented one of those little archers’ rooms above the garage there, you know the ones I’m talking about. With the view over the pool.
Hmmm. If cows are holy in India, what kind of deal have the pigs got going? Lesser deities?
I could do that. I’d be a good deity too. The one that only required some good food every day and the occasional virgin in the weekends; the kind of next-door-neighbour deity, the one you’re so happy about, performing every day miracles and trans-nirvanic computer support
Sure, I could do that.

Thing is, I’ve had a personal revelation, an outright epiphany, as to the living conditions of yours truly if I don’t clean up soon. I’m pretty sure the dust-devils are planning a riot. And they outnumber me by the houndreds!
Imagine it, there I am – innocent and vain and immensely humble – fast asleep in the glory of my butterfly bedsheets when all of a sudden! AAAAAAAGGGGgghghhhss… They attack me from the floor, using twined ropes of old hair (from my head you filthy animal) and old dental floss! Roaring at me from all sides, synchronized strikes to my vulnerabilities in conjuction with the evil spider junta lurking somewhere up there in Mount Bookshelf.
Some old pizza crumbs are chanting: "Death to the undoer", while the bedbugs all attack at the same place at the same time!
It’s definetely becoming a security issue, and not the standard "if you don’t vacuum you might suffocate and die" that we all get all too often.
I’m planning to do it on Thursday.
Considering the fact that I actually did it in July, having planned it in June, I’m looking forward to a nice, clean room for Christmas by the end of January.

But I’m not a pig, methinks. Just a little. [Check out my The thing about Swine!]

In other news: my cousin Stig is moving, which is why his websites are down.
I’m glad that he’s moving.
Ok. I’m glad that he’s moving, in a good way. I’ve seen pictures of his new joint, and I look forward to being served free meals there. Talkin’ Linux and Science-fiction. They’ve got a veranda for smoking cigarettes and a forest for bigfoots.
A consequence of this is that my brother Vegard‘s page is also down. So you don’t have to click that link at all. There are more catastrophic news to come, but not today. Today I’m working, as it were.

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