Ten things I recently learned from life

  1. Since the pornosladd (black square over male organs in moving pictures) was deemed unnecessary by the Norwegian supreme court last year, whom earlier established stripping as an artform*, there hasn’t been much controversy around the matter.
    Yesterday I noticed an ad in the newspaper for one of these 1-800 sex phone services, you know the story-telling kind for $100 a minute, that ensured enhanced pleasure since the pornosladd has been removed!

    (* I back the supreme court all the way on this one. The first time I entered a Norwegian strip joint I was stunned by the proffesionalism in running it. It’s so clean. You should check it out for yourself! Bring the kids!)

  2. It’s not really nice meeting someone you know, but haven’t seen for a period of time, when you really have to take a piss.
  3. I accidentally found out where some of Oslo’s cheating couples get themselves laid. No, I didn’t find out the fun way.
    Down by the old Aftenposten building there are rows of huts, and I happened to notice the exchange of kisses and vows (man, some girls are easy) by cheating couples . I gather none of the parties involved were prostitutes, since everyone seemed to have come in their own car.
    The enthusiasm was screaming! ..literally.
  4. A band playing punk-music and old rock’n roll is looking for a drummer. I listened to them playing outside the building for a while, but decided to think more about it. If there’s one thing I don’t have enough of at the moment, it’s time to spare.
    The lead singer is a girl named Pirri….
    In my mind, Pirri is the kind of girl who’d fancy a short, blond guy with glasses, and try to lure him into conducting horrifying acts of sexual perversion. But I don’t believe in mixing business with pleasure, at least not on a grand scale.
    Consider the possibility of Spice girls all having se-… wait, that’s not a good example.. the members of U2 all getting it on.
    You wouldn’t want to know more about that at all. And Bono strikes me as selling music by dark mysterious winking to longing housewives. It can’t be the lyrics (at least not anymore. I did like Joshua Tree, though).
    I put the idea on hold.
  5. I’m not sure whether I will have the good fortune to sleep inside a building for so much longer. The reason is the gaping void between my costs of living and my humble income. My income is as humble as a self-chosen hermit locked away in a six-by-six foot box somewhere in the desolate areas of Himalaya. That’s not an income that hangs around bragging about itself.
    Then there’s the books.
    I recently discovered that in the University, you’re supposed to read alot of books. I actually don’t mind reading them, but I mind paying 250NOK for each and every one of them. Especially when you have three to five books for every course, three courses every semester, two semesters a year and no scholarship thanks to the "quality reform" courtesy of Norwegian anti-intellectual politicians.
    At the moment I’m taking a Bachelor degree in Philosophy, and I’ve figured out that the only way I can pay for that is to become a hit man. I want to write my thesis on Ethics – – soaked in blood of innocent victims.
  6. Not all waitresses know the difference between a friendly guest and a guest who’s your friend. I’m the first kind. Rub me the wrong way, and I’ll be the opposite of the first kind. But I’m not your friend.
    This was not the case in the mind of 23 year old blond chick at the café I usually go to. Last Saturday I came there looking for tranquility, coffee and opportunity to write.
    Eventually I got down to writing, but that was after a bunch of Danish tourists had saved me from the worries of the waitress. She was going to have an interview with some artist college in Liverpool, and wanted my philosophical input. Sure, baby. Close the store, get those clothes off and we’ll talk about it.
    Only not right now. I come here for a reason, and frankly – it’s not you.
    I fear that she didn’t get in, and that the coming Saturday I will have to hear all about it.
  7. Getting keys to Microsoft products is easier than I thought. You pick up the phone, give them a call, act retarded and there you go.
  8. I can be most cynical at times. A heartless prick.
    But that’s hardly news, now is it?
  9. Running out of things to say, here..
  10. I really think Western civilization is overrated. Get over it. 

That’s more or less it. I’m planning to get a haircut by Friday, if I can produce sufficient funds. That was post 777 in all it’s glory. All open and accessible, just the way we like it. Stay tuned.

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