Every once in a while I stumble over strange CDs and recordings that I just have to buy, because I’ll probably never see them again in my life. Today when I was picking up a couple of shipments at the post office, I noticed this in their bizarro collection: Classic BRUCE WILLIS
Wtf? I didn’t even knew the sick bastard could sing. Or rather, had ever recorded anything. ’cause I think we must file this album alongside the eminent collection of David Hasselhof singles. I picked it up right in front of what could have been a prostitute, fetched my packages, ran back to work, put the disc in the drive and ripped all 18 songs. He sounds just like Bruce Willis, I thought.. Doh!
Imagine his voiceover in Last man standing suddenly braking out into song of what’s a mix of bad disco with 80’s reverbing snare, pornographic jazz saxophones and questionable vocals, and you have a pretty good picture of what it’s all about. Great. This is an instant classic, file under ‘Party Music’.
Chorus from Secret Agent Man (Johnny Rivers):
Beware of pretty faces that you find
A pretty face can hide an evil mind
Ah, be careful what you say
Or you’ll give yourself away
Odds are you won’t live to see tomorrow.
Secret agent man, secret agent man
They’ve given you a number and taken away your name
Oh. And my new haircut is the de facto Bruce Willis low-cut :D