What a wonderful day

I was really quick in the bathroom (round 1) this early morning about 10 am. I was actually so quick that one of the girls mumbled something incomprehensible and gave me a thumbs up. I had hoped she was saying Come on into my room and have sex now, but that wouldn’t explain the thumbs up and her desperate occupation of the bathroom, so I waltzed back to the bedroom.

The coffee was finished. My cigarette was rolled. I turned on the radio and looked absently out of the window.
I had a slight hangover, which was kind of strange, since I hadn’t been drinking the night before.
Here’s a transcript of my tête-à-tête with the radio this morning:
Radio: A wounded man was taken to the hospital in Oslo very early this morning with several stabwounds.
/me takes a deep inhale of my cigarette
Radio: The police is looking for a blond haired, thin man, 1.70m tall with glasses
Me: Shit! That’s me!
Radio: The victim died soon after arriving at the emergency room
Me: Oh, bloody hell!
Radio: The man the police is looking for has not been caught
/me staring wildly at the radio
Radio: The 20 something Norwegian man was wearing a cap
Me: A cap? I never wear a cap!
Radio: And an army jacket
Me: I don’t have an army jacket!
Radio: Well, maybe it wasn’t you, then.
Me: It couldn’t have been. I was here all night last night.
Radio: There you go. Nothing to worry about.
Me: Wait a minute. How can you answer my questions?
Radio: And now for the local weather…

I took a very long shower (round 2), washed my hair, and wondered why I didn’t have an orgasm like the people in the Wella commercial always do. But it was nice having my hair washed anyway. I came down to work thirty minutes ago, fresh and clean and cleared from the murder charges, and most eager to get a cup of steaming hot coffee and a look at my mail.
As you are well aware of, there’s construction work going on at my workplace.
My "real" "office" is full of dust and paint thinner atm.

So in front of the main door was a large truck.
I can imagine the conversation between the truckdriver and his son this morning:
Trucker: We have to find a nice spot to park
Son: Yes, dad
Trucker: Convenience is efficiency, son.
Son: Yes, dad
Trucker: But we don’t want to upset no body either
Son: No, dad
Trucker: Let’s put it here. Right in front of the entrance
Son: Good thinking dad! But isn’t it blocking the fire exit?
Trucker: Now, you listen ‘ere! I take a lot of lip from your mother I don’t want it from you!
Son: Yes, dad. Sorry, dad.
Trucker: Besides, they’re researchers. They’ll think of something

I barely managed to squeeze in between the oily side of the truck and some railworks.
I’m just hoping someone has a fire drill today.
This eve it’s QPP (Quiz Pizza and Pilz). And soon it’s time for lunch! Wohoo!

2 thoughts on “What a wonderful day

  1. HAH! That was an excellent post. You’re in rare form this morning. I almost blew coffee all over my monitor.

    That whole invented-conversation-whimsy-realism thing really appeals to me. I love how you convey an entire universe in the space of a few lines of dialog.

    I had an art teacher tell me once that whether you have 30 seconds or 30 hours, you’ve got to account for the whole canvas. You never know when your time is up, so you’ve got to make sure that when the work is pulled from your fingers it’s finished from wherever you are.

    This post contained the world to me, the threads of relationship and power among you, the trucker, his imagined son and wife, the researchers – the tendrils twisting out into space and wrapping it all together into a complete symphony of harmony.

    –complete, invented but most definitely and entirely the truest story about that truck and its planets that has ever been written.


  2. Waffles.
    I had waffles for lunch.

    After that, when I went out for a smoke, the trucker had placed a ramp from the back to the front stairs leading to the 2nd floor.
    That was to make sure that anyone running screamingly out from the blazing fire would be decapitated.
    After all, it’s more humane, I figure.

    Have a nice weekend!

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