RIP Karl (2005-2006) and Sympathy for mr. Vengeance

My plant, Karl, just died.
I can tell, ’cause he’s acting all brown, blackish brown, and when I bought him he was light green. I’m pretty sure he died of cancer.
Whatever you may be thinking, I can take care of plants. I treat them like very modest, very vegetably women. I gave him water, orange juice, beer. I don’t know what I didn’t give to Karl. You’re not supposed to hug them, though, I’ve read that. It can result in growth reduction. So I didn’t hug him at all.
I talked to it, you’re supposed to do that, asked it how he felt and stuff. And I have a pretty good feeling that we got along all right.

But now Karl is dead. From cancer.
You see, Karl’s favourite place was the right side of my window pane. Then, to the right side of the window itself is my facourite place. It’s a black leather chair with a welcoming look, teasing everyone that comes to visit to have a seat.
So, that’s where I usually sit to have a cigarette.
And Karl, the poor thing, he was just stuck in the line of fire.

Sympathy for Mr. Vengeance *SPOILERS*
I saw this movie last night, and I’m still undecided as to what to think about it. I mean, it has a great kick-off with the main character (can’t remember his name, let’s just call him Nibbles) being deaf and mute and it also has some extraordinary good cinematic sequences, but..
You know, I don’t want to be all racist and shit, but are there two girls or just one?
Is he fucking his sister or what?
If he isn’t, then she can’t be his sister, meaning that there are two girls. And if there are two girls where the hell did the other girl come into the picture? Who the fuck was buried underneath the pile of rocks? If it was his sister, why is he fucking her later on? I completely lost the thread there..

Then the film has some really unnecessary long sequences of gory shit.
After a while, it just becomes boring.
Take round one at the mortuary for instance. I’m not a father, but I guess that if I were I wouldn’t be thrilled about finding out my kid had drowned. I think it makes sense to say I’d probably be quite upset. What doesn’t make sense is me getting a front-row ticket for the autopsy. It worked in Alien 3, Ripley had a reason, but here you just wonder: Wtf is he doing there?
It’s not like it’s impossible for him to just wait down the hall for the final report. Shit!

Another thing that dragged the movie down, or perhaps reveals my cultural ignorance, is the way the characters act. Not the way the actors act, but the characters. Physically.
During the last half of the film Nibbles and the father and quite a few of the other characters (such as the underground surgeon and her two sons) have somehow been struck completely dumb.
Nibbles walk around doing things like killing people, pissing in bottles, talking in the phone etc. is if he’s sleepwalking. He carries this look on his face like: Wtf is this a film? What’s really happening here? How the hell did I get here? What the fuck? Cameras?
And let’s not pretend it helps the plot.
I suppose it could’ve been deliberate, trying to create some eerie feeling of numbness, but it’s far from successful and halfway into lala-land. Pathetic.

But the movie does have its moments.
Artistically brilliant photography, absolutely genius use of background music and some really great humor (if you have a black heart like me). Take the scene where Nibbles is standing in the middle of the picture, his sister or girlfriend (or both) has just been buried on the opposite side, the little girl just drown by a rock to the right and wading in from the left is the retard coming to get the necklace from the girl.
Shit. I almost wet myself.