Today I’m having a miserable day. Just thought you should know.
I spent all last night formatting harddrives, which isn’t very fun, when I should’ve been playing the drums, which is fun. It turns out my motherboard has a problem with my Seagate Barracuda drive. My cousin gave me a tip, so now I’ve cloned the drive using a free floppy utility. I also had to invest in a ATA100 adapter in order to use 300GB on my 300GB drive instead of only 128GB. Lately I haven’t been solving or shooting trouble, I’ve been buying it.
Oh. And a house burnt down just down the street. So I’ve slept too little.
My instincts are really acute. I smell fire and wake up.
Yes, it’s definitely a fire. Hear the sirens? Maybe I should get up?
The first thing I do is put the kettle on. If I’m going to die in a blazing fire, flames licking my skin and heat boiling my eyeballs two hours before I’d normally get up, then I want a cup of coffee. If I’d been on the Titanic, I’d be the first one to rush up – and into the shower. All right, it’s an emergency, but let’s be cool about it. No need to create a panic.
See that mother lowering her kids down with that rope? She’s gonna kill them. She’s lowering them right into the freezing, arctic water. That’s what panic do to you. Any one up for hot chocolate and biscuits?
EDIT: I Won! I Won!
I just won an online auction for a PCMCIA wireless adapter. Got an e-mail congratulating me and all. What kind of stupid trick is that? I’m supposed to run around naked and do the hamster dance because I’ve spent my last money? They should send out a down-to-earth e-mail instead:
Congratulations! You Are a Loser!
And you’ve just spent more money on shit you don’t need!
Thanks for choosing us. Without you, we’d probably have to get a job.