YOU COWARDS! I asked for the sophisticated way of eating oranges, and this is what I get?
Peel slowly and see: 14%
Make conversation and observe the others: 42%
Treat it like the plague: 9%
Treat it like a tit: 16%
Small, non-dripping nibbles: 7%
Ethiquette and fruit are incompatible: 9%
Of course, the only correct answer to that one is to treat it like a tit. Or like a velociraptor dive into a little kid.
Nearly half of you are too polite to eat an orange without knowing the ethiquette. Just trust yourself, get in there, feel the juices flowing!
Those 7% of small, non-drip nibbling people out there, you’re not really helping. You can’t eat a big fuckoff orange like a squirrel would do it. The sheer size of the orange would kill it. You have to see this from another angle. Preferrably from a shark’s angle. A starving shark’s angle.