I have to get meself a new wallet. It’s worn out. The money’s falling out faster than I can spend it.
Buy a new wallet.
I’ve never been comfortable with buying wallets. Logically they’re supposed to keep your money, so spending money on one is illogical. At least contra-intuitive. But of course it would be daft to be apprehended for shoplifting a wallet.
– What you got there, son?
– Wallet, sir.
– You were trying to steal a wallet?
– For my money, sir. They’re scattered around my pockets. You see?
– Why didn’t you buy it? You now I’ll have to write you down for this.
– I know, officer. And I never steal anything.
– You just did.
– Uhm, yeah. Well, I needed it. But come on, it’s a wallet!
– I’m not ‘sposed to spend my last money on a wallet! When I get over there to the counter and pay for it, I’ll have no more money to put back into it, so it wouldn’t be necessary to buy one anymore.
– But you just said you needed it.
– Yes, because I have money! But I won’t if I spend them!
You can see where it’s going.
I wish Society had a thing going with wallets as with black umbrellas. You just leave them anywhere, and pick up another somewhere else. It’s socialism par excellence. Of course, if you could leave some change in it too, in thousand dollar bills, that’d be great. Yes…. You, sir, are a contributor to the cornerstone of Society!
… Who me? I’m Cornerstone, nice to meet you.