Weird dreams, male wake-up call and nail polish remover

First, I nearly didn’t get any sleep at all last night. I wrote some good shit before going to bed, and then I started dreaming about this girl. It was all very nice for a while, nice and sexy, but then I started arguing with her.
"You know that you aren’t real? I’m just dreaming this."
She had a hard time coming to terms with that. I said it didn’t matter, because in my dream I would still love her. But she wanted to be real. She insisted that she was, in fact real. Things went a bit downhill after that.

Then I dreamt, still just half-asleep, that another girl at a café was talked into filing a complaint to the police for assault and battery. I had only shaken her hand!! Wasn’t my fault that her hands were sickly thin as matches. Anyway, I hadn’t hurt her, but the other two guys working there just wanted my ass outta the café.

I turned off the alarm clock when it rang. I hadn’t even nearly slept as much as I needed to. It rang again ten minutes later. I cursed heaven above and turned away. Then a friend of mine called. If there is one thing I really can’t stand, it is being woken by a man’s voice in my ear. It’s really icky. I mean, you’re lying there in your boxers, or nude, and some guy is talking in your ear about something you can’t really understand. What’s all this information? Where does it come from? I’m still in my bed, goddamnit!

Had a quick coffee with him and Kornelius at the Jazz place, and then finally I got to work. Because I had an errand downtown. I neede nail polish remover. Now, why would I need that? I’m not such a big fan of nail polish, especially not on my own fingers. I’m totally against it. But that’s not the reason why I needed it either.
I’m re-installing a CPU for a colleague at work.
I need nail polish remover, one with alcohol, to remove the thermal paste.

Finding nail polish remover with alcohol was harder than I thought. Probably because I went to places like H&M and Capahl and shit. These are apparently places for the cosmetically conscious individuals of the human race.
I got in there, and had a look around. Everything was small, round, feminine and in colours from mild brown to mild pink. My eyes couldn’t focus. The ceiling began to spin. I get social angst in beauty stores. There are mirrors and big eyes with long, curly eyelashes everywhere. And I’m an intruder. It’s obvious. I’m not gay, and I look like something that just recently crawled up from the dirt to join the evolutionary race. So every girl in there is watching me with interest.
Who’s that guy? Look at him. Looks a little lost. How cute.
The heat is on, ladies and gentlemen. I couldn’t take the pressure.

I surrendered to the help of the cashier. She was insanely good looking, and very understanding of my predicament. I didn’t tell her about the thermal paste, as I figured it wouldn’t make much sense to her. Instead I stood there like an idiot emphasizing that I needed alcohol in my nail polish remover.
Sexy cashier: Okay.. these are what we have.
Me: Anyone with alcohol?
Sexy cashier: Let me see.. No.
Me: This is no good, it has to be alcohol.
Sexy cashier: But it removes nail polish just the same!
Me: I need alcohol in it! Sorry. Are you sure this is all you’ve got?
Sexy cashier: We only have non-alcoholic nail polish removers. I’m so sorry.
Me: I forgive you. Please run away with me. Sex on the beach?
Sexy cashier: You are a naughty boy, mister.
Me: Do you like it?
Sexy cashier: I’m gonna have to ask you to follow me to the changing room, sir.
Me: Eh?
Sexy cashier: You need to be punished, little man.

Okay, so it wasn’t exactly like that, but you get the idea.

I ended up with one that contained Aceton, and not the kind I was looking for that’s called Isypronol or something. When I finally showed up at my workplace, they had had lunch a long time ago. I hadn’t even had breakfast. Heck, I hadn’t even had dinner the day before! No wonder I was crazed out.
Now I’m just looking forward to getting through the day and attend at the social event of the week; big dinner, free drinks and lots of dancing with pretty girls at the annual julebord. Have a nice weekend.

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