Sorry, kids! Christmas is off!

Breaking news! This just in!
A drunken driver flying low above a densely populated area in Canada with a pack of reindeer, was chased and shot in what developed into a wild goose chase among the chimney tops. For two of the officers from the Royal Canadian Mounted Police the 23rd became a little more tense than what they’d hoped for.

Reporter: And can you tell us about the shoot-out?
Mountie #1: Well, we’d got him pinned down by tracking his reindeer on a radar, but when we got to the house in question, the suspect was armed and dangerous, and held a family of four hostage.
Reporter: How would you describe his mental state at the time?
Mountie #1: He was definitely intoxicated, wouldn’t you say? Eh?
Mountie #2: Drunk, yes. Amphetamin? Maybe.
Mountie #1: He started yelling something aboot his distaste for his current job situation, and how, and I quote, "elves had always turned him on, but no one really gives a shit what goes on on the North Pole".
Reporter: Horrific.
Mountie #2: But we got him when he tried to escape the scene by climbing up the chimney.
Reporter: Tell us about it.
Mountie #2: The Royal Canadian Mounties are excellent marksmen, ma’m.
Reporter: And the family?
Mountie #1: They’ve been taken care of by a team of psychiatric experts.
Reporter: What can you tell us about the reindeer?
Mountie #2: They were fierce, eh?
Mountie #1: Had to put ’em down.
Reporter: Are you fearing retaliations from animal rights movements?
Mountie #2: If the animals want to come and talk aboot rights, they’re more than welcome.
Mountie #1: Our present concern is with the well-being of the family that was taken hostage, and we will naturally have to look into this alleged elf exploitation.
Reporter: Wouldn’t that be union business?
Mountie #2: Vice jurisdiction.
Reporter: Thank you, officers. Back to you, Steve.
Anchor: Thanks, Hannah. Canadian press just leaked this photograph to us which was taken at the scene. We advice viewer’s discretion. The graphical nature of the photo might be disturbing for some.

Santa shot dead in wild goose chase

This blurry shot was taken with a phonecam by one of the Mounties, seconds after the fatal apprehension of the suspect, later identified as Santa himself.

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